OBAMAFU.COMBecause enough is enough.
Obamadays Passed: Pelosidays Passed:    730
Left: Left: None
home all         about store acks contact donations
real good news
real news
Delusions of Grandeur...
photo reports
Obama Timeline: From His Birth In 1961 Through His First 100 Days In Office

Days covered:334


Barack Obama is a Big-Eared Idiot
and other undeniable life's truths

Volume 1: The Failure's Log

November 4, 2010
Forecasting the news, we'd say
Bamster will be denounced today.
F#@k-You-Meter has moved
past the point “Disapproved”.
It is now at “F#@k all you say”.

November 3, 2010
He has worked as a tireless drover,
and his herd ate it all, grain and stover.
Now nothing is left
for his friends from the left.
Listen, Bamster: it's time to bend over.
The Israelites, so long as the vengeance
was not directed against their own people,
viewed the defeat of wicked enemies,
whether by themselves or others,
as the justifiable recompenses of Yahweh.
G. W. Trompf
Payback: the logic of retribution in Melanesian religions (1994)
Chalk up another victory to the human spirit.
Planet of the Apes (1968)

October 4, 2009
Europe seems to have gotten enough
of the endless Obamian guff.
Bamster, here is a hint
for the rest of your stint:
you are dumb, so — you better be tough...
If a man is dumb, someone is going to get the best of him,
so why not you? If you don't, you're as dumb as he is.
Arnold Rothstein
quoted in
The Big Bankroll: The Life and Times of Arnold Rothstein
by Leo Katcher (1959)
If you're stupid and weak,
you should probably quit.
Floyd Landis (2006)

October 3, 2009
The entire Obamian Force
now blames it on Rio, of course,
still unable to see
what observed IOC:
just an ass, braying loud and hoarse.
Right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
Chris Rock
Where'er an ass is crown'd to fame,
both town and country bear the shame.
German proverb
in A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs
by Henry George Bohn (1857)

October 2, 2009
The ObamoOlympics? No more.
Both Obamas had taken the floor
in a failed pas de deux,
neither having a clue
what the f#@k the Olympics are for...
...if one's tongue don't move in the steps of the day,
and thinks to please by its old graces,
it is only an object of ridicule...
Horace Walpole
The letters of Horace Walpole (1840)
All the misfortunes of mankind,
all the dreadful disasters that fill the history books,
the blunders of politicians and the faults of omission
of great commanders, all this comes
from not knowing how to dance.
Le Bourgeois gentilhomme (1670)

October 1, 2009
Mrs. Bum (that's Michelle — don't twitch...)
in ObamoOlympical pitch
spoke of her SACRIFICE
(didn't think of it twice...).
Please come up with a clue for this b#@ch.
If the First Family gets a female dog,
will she be the First B#@ch or
will she have to settle for second place?
Burt Prelutsky
quoted in
Townhall: Michelle Obama is a B#@ch, Get It? (2009)
... the usual fortune of complaints,...
to have excited more contempt than pity.
Samuel Johnson
The lives of the most eminent English poets (1805)

September 30, 2009
M. Obama flew to Copenhagen;
IOC's exaltation is laggin'
far behind her behind.
We can read their mind:
“Don't look. You'll be sore from gaggin'...”
America is supposed to be given over to ugliness.
There are a good many ugly things there;
and the ugliest are the most pretentious.
Goldwin Smith
Lectures and Essays (1881)
Social progress can be measured exactly
by the social position of the fair sex
(the ugly ones included).
Karl Marx
Letters to Dr. Kugelmann (1868)

September 29, 2009
Bamster, there is an imminent trouble
with your bursting publicity bubble
filled with all the bulls#@t
that you — daily — emit.
Get your a#@ off TV — on the double.
They ought to pass a rule in this Country
that in any investigations,
if a Man couldn't tell the truth the first time
he shouldn't be allowed to try again.
Will Rogers
The Illiterate Digest (1924)
Talk that does not end in any kind of action
is better suppressed altogether.
Thomas Carlyle
Inaugural address, Edinburgh (1866)

September 28, 2009
A conspiracy, vast and right-wing,
is attacking The Idiot King.
Bet a buck to a dime:
it's so racist this time
that he can't accomplish a thing...
Just another day in the gutter...
Young Gunz
Same S#@t, Different Day (2005)
The oblique paradox of propaganda is
that the lie in the throat becomes,
by repetition, the truth in the heart.
John Grierson
Re-thinking Grierson:
The Ideology of John Grierson

September 27, 2009
Have you searched for your inner Obama?
Could your soul be a part of his drama?
Are you stupid, insane,
narcissistic, profane,
(please continue beyond the last comma)?...
This is the very worst wickedness,
that we refuse to acknowledge the passionate evil
that is in us. This makes us secret and rotten.
D. H. Lawrence
Letter to Lady Ottoline Morrell (April 8, 1915)
A true criminal becomes a popular figure
because he unburdens in no small degree
the consciences of his fellow man,
for now they know once more where evil is to be found.
Carl Jung
The integration of the personality (1950)

September 26, 2009
“Red or yellow, black or white,
are all equal in his sight”.
This is what the children sang
praising Bamster's “Sturm und Drang”.
Make a note: color's order
starts with Red. Expect disorder.
Yes, we know — this is not a limerick.
But we liked it.
He said red, yellow, black or white,
all are equal in his sight.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Hussein Obama.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Hussein Obama.
Children's song
The Joker: Introduce a little anarchy.
Upset the established order,
and everything becomes chaos.
I'm an agent of chaos.
Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!
The Dark Knight (2008)

September 25, 2009
News: Islam is on Capitol Hill.
This must be The Obamian Thrill —
see 5000 a#@es
up on Washington's grasses
ready for The Obamian Drill.
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that his wife
is beautiful and his children smart.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)
For a moment horrible thoughts went through his mind:
then he remembered the nonsense about Tash and Aslan
being the same and knew that the whole thing must be a cheat.
C. S. Lewis
The Last Battle (1956)

September 24, 2009
USA is in need of a succor.
King O-Bum in U.N. — what a sucker
for Progressive brigades!
Bamster, stop your tirades!
You do NOT speak for us, m#@$&%#@$&%r!
Circumstances and surroundings
do not make a man strong or weak,
they simply reveal what he is where he is.
Charles E. Woodcock
A Man's Personal Service for Christ
in His Life in the World
A Man can practise the Arts of Falshood and Deceit
but for a little while, before they will be discovered,
and when they are discovered, they are so far
from being any Advantage to him that they turn
to his prejudice, and the cunning Man begins
to be in a bad case, and he that was wont
to over reach others, is at last caught himself.
John Tillotson
Sermon CVIII: The unprofitableness of Sin in this Life (1722)

September 23, 2009
Scrawny Barry is having some fun
at U.N. This is just a rerun.
One by one, and en masse,
he has kissed every a#@,
while Qaddafi applauded “his son”.
Groveling. It's the new cockiness.
Jeff Tweedy
austin360.com (2005)
Bart: You could be my father figure.
Homer: No way. I'm not getting
my finger prints on that train wreck.
The Simpsons (1989)

September 22, 2009
Once again, our future is hexed.
“Fight for Health” has been duly annexed.
Plans of Bum The Pissant
have a personal slant:
legalizing illegals comes next.
Wherever there is interest and power to do wrong,
wrong will generally be done.
James Madison
Letters and Other Writings
of James Madison:1769-1793
Is it really true that political self-interest
is nobler somehow than economic self-interest?
Milton Friedman
Interview with Phil Donahue (1979)

September 21, 2009
Abercrombie and Fitch have been sued.
They got lucky. They could have been booed
by New Guinea-born men
wanting justice, and then
phallocrypts would be set to protrude...
Bad things are not the worst things
that can happen to us.
Richard Bach
One (1989)
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Strength to Love (1963)

September 20, 2009
Who's “Obamo-American”? Well,
you would think it's a hard one to tell,
but it's not. “Piece of s#@t”
would impeccably fit —
you can easily tell by the smell.
We want to create a sort of linguistic Lourdes,
where evil and misfortune are dispelled
by a dip in the waters of euphemism.
Robert Hughes
Culture of Complaint:
The Fraying of America
If it walks like s#@t
Talks like s#@t
It must be s#@t
If it feels like s#@t
Tastes like s#@t
It must be s#@t
If it looks like s#@t
Sounds like s#@t
It must be s#@t
If it smells like s#@t
Tells like s#@t
It must be s#@t
Iggy Pop
It's All S#@t (2001)

September 19, 2009
All Obamian zombies and mutts!
Have you seen how your favorite putz
lost his magic and charm?
Have you heard the alarm?
Time to duck and to cover your butts!
There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them
have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
Blackadder: You really are as thick as clotted cream,
that's been left out by some clot,
and now the clots are so clotted,
you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter,
aren't you, Baldrick?
Blackadder Back & Forth (1999)

September 18, 2009
Bamster, you are no longer a hit.
You are nothing to look at. Admit:
you just like being seen
on the glowing screen.
Like your smoking — you just can't quit.
Talk. Talk. Talk... Good lines and no action...
Said all.... Not even promising first act...
Gertrude F. Atherton
Black Oxen (1923)
Psychic inflation, like economic inflation,
means presenting greater values than really exist.
It means that the person loves and admires himself
for values for which there is no adequate foundation.
Karen Horney
New Ways in Psychoanalysis (1939)

September 17, 2009
King O-Bum! Maybe, this would be cool
in your world, where grievances rule...
We're Black and Caucasian,
we're Spanish and Asian.
Forty acres we want. And a mule.
It is true that Mr. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation,
after which there was a commitment to give 40 acres and a mule.
That's where the argument, to this day, of reparations starts.
We never got the 40 acres.
We went all the way to Herbert Hoover, and we never got the 40 acres.
We didn't get the mule.
So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us.
Al Sharpton (2004)
Poetry is about the grief.
Politics is about the grievance.
Robert Frost
quoted in
Roads not taken: rereading Robert Frost
by Earl J. Wilcox and Jonathan N. Barron (2000)

September 16, 2009
King O-Bum has been lying and stressing
the necessity for acquiescing
to his lies. He forgot:
he has done diddly-squat,
and his failure is everyone's blessing.
He constantly feels that you owe him things
that he has done nothing to earn.
Lundy Bancroft
Why does he do that?
Inside the minds of angry and controlling men
...his preacherly manner, which, by the way,
he has done nothing to earn, or to deserve.
Marilynne Robinson
Gilead (2004)

September 15, 2009
Angry Bamster climbed up on the wall,
lost his balance, and ready to fall
(not all votes were ACORNed,
and O-Bum unadorned
looks like something we want to recall).
Threescore men and threescore more,
Cannot place Humpty Dumpty as he was before.
Joseph Ritson
Gammer Gurton's Garland(1811)
Any time you wanna go home,
you consider yourself dismissed.
Die Hard (1988)

September 14, 2009
“Just a million” — this is the tally
of the March on D.C... Bamster's rally:
“15,000 fakes
in the Land of the Lakes.”
That's the start for the proper finale.
Would it not be easier
In that case for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?
Bertolt Brecht
The Solution (1953)
The overwhelming majority of Americans
are possessed of two great qualities —
a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933)

September 13, 2009
We should judge Bamster's ears by tilt.
When he lies, they are standing “as built”,
but when someone defies
all his obvious lies,
then his ears appear to wilt.
Gotta build up those ol' ear muscles!
Charles M. Schulz
The American people are tired of liars
and people who pretend to be something they're not.
Hillary Clinton (1992)

September 12, 2009
Little Barry escaped from D.C.
He did not want to hear or to see
all these People who came
to D.C. to proclaim
from the sea to the shining old sea:

“It's the time for this glorious Nation
to begin the detoxification.”
And the fact that The Ears
ran away, it appears,
is the proof of the disinclination

of The Ears to listen and do
what Americans hold to be true.
“You were voted to serve,
but you lie, and you swerve
with the curve that we want to undo.”

Little Barry and Air Force One
left D.C. just before all this fun:
all these People, who came
to D.C. to proclaim
their wishes, got Barry undone...
Uncle Remus: You can't run away from trouble.
There ain't no place that far.
Song of the South (1946)
The liberals can understand everything
but people who don't understand them.
Lenny Bruce

September 11, 2009
9/11. The day we were hit,
and the day we refused to submit
to legitimate fears.
King O-Bum, it appears,
brings these fears right back, bit by bit.
Ah, this is obviously
some strange usage of the word 'safe'
that I wasn't previously aware of.
Douglas Adams
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1979)
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
Eric Hoffer
The Passionate State of Mind (1955)

September 10, 2009
“Hope” has “Changed”. It is nearly dying.
All King's men have been publicly trying
dump it all on The Race
(at a quickening pace,
'cause Obama was/is/will be lying).
If ever we hear a case of lying,
we must look for a severe parent.
A lie would have no sense
unless the truth were felt as dangerous.
Alfred Adler
What Life Should Mean to You (1937)
Once you begin to explain or excuse
all events on racial grounds,
you begin to indulge in the perilous mythology of race.
James Earl Jones
Voices and Silences (1993)

September 9, 2009
Disney should make some new animations
celebrating all Obaminations:
Dumb-O Hood”, “Lying King”,
“Slipping Bum of the Ring”,
and “One Hundred and One Machinations”.
In Postmodernism, the media validate reality.
If you don't believe this, just think
how many times you've described some real event
as being “just like a movie”.
Brad Holland
Express Yourself (1996)
Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.
Lord Byron
English Bards and Scotch Reviewers (1809)

September 8, 2009
NEA has no frogs (live or dead).
They thought up something better instead:
“Did you ask for a grant?
Yes, you can! Do the rant,
kiss your Bamster — and you shall be fed!”
Yea, make sure you wear them
kiss a#@ shoes too.
Drowning Mona (2000)
Kissa#@ is the Part of Peace.
Allen Ginsberg
Kiss A#@ (1968)
facts · more facts · extra

Labor Day · September 7, 2009
Labor Day. Scrawny Barry is talking
to his favorite troops. He is chalking
up to them things you owe.
thinks you aren't supposed to be balking.
Only the mob and the elite can be attracted
by the momentum of totalitarianism itself;
the masses have to be won by propaganda.
Hannah Arendt
The Origins of Totalitarianism (1951)
I want a working class
that can hold an election every day
if they want to.
William Haywood
The General Strike (1911)

September 6, 2009
When we speak of the “party”, the spread
of the meanings is wide, and we dread
one we cannot survive:
with Mad Hatter alive,
but dormouse and March Hare — dead.
We had a kettle; we let it leak:
Our not repairing made it worse.
We haven't had any tea for a week...
The bottom is out of the Universe.
Rudyard Kipling
Natural Theology
The Years Between (1919)
“`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.
“Exactly so,” said the Hatter:
“as the things get used up.”
Lewis Carroll
Alice's Adventure in Wonderland (1865)

September 5, 2009
Rahm Emanuel has been confined
to the back of Obamian mind.
You should pity O-Bum
who is going numb,
hemorrhoid and toothache combined.
Pain is the natural consequence of wrong conduct;
any other consequence is most unnatural.
To-Day (November 20, 1890)
A man sometimes stands at a crisscrossing
of the paths of his destiny,
where the path of saving the world
intersects with the path of his hemorrhoid.
Abdul Hafeez Diwan
My Hemorrhoid (2004)

September 4, 2009
No more bans for the communist clan.
South Lawn is Chinese (“yes, we can!”).
Barry (MFIC)
cannot really see
why we all are upset with his plan...
...the “I Am Not a Communist, But -----” Club.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)
If the enemy leaves a door open,
you must rush in.
Sun Tzu
The Art of War (c.6th century B.C.)

September 3, 2009
Bamster just had returned from vacation.
He is ready to switch education
to Obamian Voice.
But the girls would want “boys”
and the boys would want “Bush” in narration...
When an opponent declares,
“I will not come over to your side,”
I calmly say, “Your child belongs to us already...
What are you? You will pass on.
Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp.
In a short time they will know nothing else
but this new community.”
Adolf Hitler (November 1933)
quoted in
The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich
by William Shirer
...school teachers, taking them by and large,
are probably the most ignorant and stupid class of men
in the whole group of mental workers.
H. L. Mencken
The Philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche (1913)

September 2, 2009
Hey, Obama! You stirred up some passion
with all things you are planning to ration.
Now — see what you've done?
Soon, you will be the one
hating whom will become a new fashion.
In time we hate that which we often fear.
William Shakespeare
Antony and Cleopatra (1603)
The knowledge that you're alive
gives me no pleasure.
Meredith Nicholson
The Port of Missing Men (1907)

September 1, 2009
Looking over the glorious past,
we affirm: yes, O-Bummer surpassed
every man in the ring,
having managed to bring
ratings down so far — and so fast.
Popularity is a Crime from the Moment it is sought;
it is only a Virtue where Men have it whether they will or no.
George Savile
The Complete Works of George Savile (1912)
Calvin: How can something seem
so plausible at the time
and so idiotic in retrospect?
Calvin and Hobbes (1995)

August 31, 2009
Bamster's fortune we dare to scrawl.
Winter came, brought a violent squall.
Spring was sickly and gray.
Summer's over today.
Autumn's coming — and so is his fall.
In the fury of the moment
I can see the Master's hand.
Bob Dylan
Every Grain of Sand (1981)
Justice shall overtake
the artificers of lies and the false witnesses.
Fragment 28
in Early Greek Philosophy by John Burnet (1892)

August 30, 2009
Dems continue to scream and to whine.
They are looking for things to malign.
They are livid because
they are losing The Cause.
This must be an Obaminous sign...
Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
Mohandas Gandhi
Young India (February 2, 1921)
Sometimes life gives us lessons
sent in ridiculous packaging.
Dar Williams
The Pointless, Yet Poignant, Crisis Of a Co-ed (1996)

August 29, 2009
Heard the news Bamster tries to suppress?
Nonsense rules — in Obamian dress —
and continues to press
everyone to profess
the Obamian way to success.
There are certain queer times and occasions
in this strange mixed affair we call life
when a man takes his whole universe
for a vast practical joke.
Herman Melville
Moby-Dick: Or, The Whale (1851)
It is discouraging to think
how many people are shocked by honesty
and how few by deceit.
Noël Coward
Blithe Spirit (1941)

August 28, 2009
Internet was created to stand
up to nuclear hits to this land,
so the messages would
get to your neighborhood,
even when it no longer looks grand...

Like right now... The nuclear hit
was replaced with this Kenyan twit,
who has managed to break
all he touched — yes, a fake,
but he acts as if he is legit.

Internet helped this fake get elected.
Now, he has a way to perfect it
by appending a switch,
On and Off... Stupid b#@ch,
does he think we will let him direct it?
In cyberspace,
the First Amendment is a local ordinance.
John Perry Barlow
Leaving the Physical World (1991)
All forms of government ultimately
are not going to succeed
in trying to control or censor the Internet.
Rupert Murdoch
in Murdoch's New Groove (2006)

August 27, 2009
“Dear Teddy, may God rest your soul.”
But He won't. No reason at all.
Known traitor, a slut,
and a murderer. But —
Yuri's waiting, in Hell. Don't stall.
...when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet (1597)
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
Which can be used to mark and rate the bars.
OBAMAFU editorial comment
...You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
Bob Dylan
With God on Our Side (1963)

August 26, 2009
All good news are so easy to smother...
Someone spoke of “last Kennedy brother”,
and we thought we'd puke,
but we didn't rebuke.
We rejoiced: he said “last”, not “another”.
He wanted to be his brother's brother, and then
he turned that torch over last year to Barack Obama.
Barack is now the last brother.
Chris Matthews(MSNBC)
Today Show, August 26, 2009
The reason so many people turned up
at his funeral is this:
they wanted to make sure he was dead.
Samuel Goldwyn

August 25, 2009
Rahm Emanuel's moves, at a glance,
did not make it, and failed to advance
King O-Bum's reputation
all around the nation.
So, just dance, ballerina, just dance...
So on with your career,
you can't afford a backward glance.
Nat King Cole
Dance, ballerina, dance (1957)
Tough guys don't dance.
You had better believe it.
Norman Mailer
Tough guys don't dance (1985)

August 24, 2009
Bamster stopped printing Cash for your Clunkers.
Go back to your trenches and bunkers.
Keep your old SUV —
it will do. C'est la vie
goes bust after going bonkers.
Patience is the ability to idle your motor
when you feel like stripping your gears.
Roger Copsey
in Boy's Life (1955)
A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
in Life of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
by Samuel Longfellow (1891)

August 23, 2009
Looking forward to new institutions,
pushed by Bamster's unneeded solutions,
we propose just one more:
All-Obamian Corps
For Collecting Unpaid Restitutions.
There is only one post fit for you,
and that is the office of perpetual president
of the Heaven and Hell Amalgamation Society.
Thomas Carlyle
quoted in The Life, Letters, and Friendships
of Richard Monckton Milnes

by T. Wemyss Reid (1890)
While the rest of the country waves the flag of Americana,
we understand we are not part of that.
We don't owe America anything —
America owes us.
Al Sharpton

August 22, 2009
Axelrod and Emanuel (Rahm)
will be blamed for O-Bum being dumb.
So, they should have returned
to the roles they have learned:
Tweedledee and his pal, Tweedledum.
They're lying low and they're makin' hay
They seem determined to go all the way
Bob Dylan
Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum (2001)
‘I know what you're thinking about,’
said Tweedledum: ‘but it isn't so, nohow.’
‘Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee,
‘if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.‘
Lewis Carroll
Through the Looking Glass (1872)

August 21, 2009
Barry, you are a crybaby; thus,
always ready to whine. Making fuss
in your Wee-Wee'd address
would be helped by a dress.
Send your size — and the dress is on us.
Sure, the lion is king of the jungle,
but airdrop him into Antarctica,
and he's just a penguin's b#@ch.
Dennis Miller
Once a b#@ch
always a b#@ch, what I say.
William Faulkner
The Sound and the Fury (1929)

August 20, 2009
In campaigns, propped by ACORN, your score
has been shown to roar and soar,
but by now, your mug
doesn't look half as smug.
You are popular, Bamster, no more.
His success has the life expectancy
of a small boy who is about to look
into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Fred Allen
Much Ado About Me (1956)
...fated to co-habit
on uneasy terms with his Image...
W. H. Auden
Unpredictable But Providential (1972)

August 19, 2009
King Obama crawled up to the throne,
propped by many, but he is alone
in assuming we all
will deliver his goal.
Stop your schpiels — face the music, cabrón!
The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions,
passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons.
Greed, anger, and delusion.
Breakthrough Sermon
Shut up, he explained.
Ring Lardner
The Young Immigrunts (1920)

August 18, 2009
Words are clear, but there is a cloud
of Obamolinguistical doubt.
“Give me back my U.S!”
(as “before all this mess”...)
Is it racist to say this aloud?
Why hate someone for the color of their skin
when there are much better reasons to hate them?
Denis Leary
I believe that political correctness
can be a form of linguistic fascism,
and it sends shivers
down the spine of my generation
who went to war against fascism.
P. D. James

August 17, 2009
We support, now popular, wishes
for ideas that Bamster still dishes
out, frightening some.
Our message to Bum:
“Your DeathCare will sleep with the fishes.”
Cruel as Death, and hungry as the Grave!
James Thomson
The Seasons, Winter (1726)
The problem is not whether you can see
the handwriting on the wall,
but whether you can read it.
Evan Esar
20000 Quips and Quotes (1968)

August 16, 2009
There once was a man named Obama.
War abroad was no longer a drama
in his media plan.
There was no Taliban:
it was swallowed by Telebama.
He who is created by television
can be destroyed by television.
Theodore White
I think television has betrayed
the meaning of democratic speech,
adding visual chaos to the confusion of voices.
What role does silence have in all this noise?
Federico Fellini
in I'm a Born Liar: A Fellini Lexicon
ed. by Damian Pettigrew (2003)

August 15, 2009
On the White House lawn, excuses
fly as thick as they do in the news. Is
garden, tainted with lead,
still organic, if fed
with BS that Obama produces?
Propaganda is the art of persuading others
of what you don't believe yourself.
Abba Eban
All of this was well-meaning bulls#@t,
but bulls#@t is still bulls#@t and will never be
mistaken for McDonald's Secret Sauce.
Stephen King
Danse Macabre (1983)

August 14, 2009
Bamster won't unplug your Grandmother.”
Double negative? Well, if you bother
to unwrap this negation
in a proper formation,
it may get you to think he'd rather... — ???

NO! This would imply that we say...
We're not going there. No way.
Halley Reed: He's an American phenomenon.
Clifford Stern: Yeah, like acid rain.
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
My grandmother's brain was dead,
but her heart was still beating.
It was the first time we ever had
a Democrat in the family.
Emo Philips (1985)

August 13, 2009
CDC says we ought to eat less.
We agree, but would like to digress:
starving Africans need
all this food. We will feed
most of them, through the Bamster's largess.
Why should we take up farming when there are
so many mongongo nuts in the world?
African bushman,
quoted by Jared Diamond
Discover, May 1987
The first lesson of economics is scarcity:
there is never enough of anything
to satisfy all those who want it.
The first lesson of politics is to disregard
the first lesson of economics.
Thomas Sowell
Is Reality Optional?: And Other Essays (1993)

August 12, 2009
Is Obama the curse or the cure?
Well... solutions he claims to procure
hurt both poor and rich,
and the poor will b#@ch,
while the rich will be forced to be poor.
I am for doing good to the poor,
but I differ in opinion of the means.
I think the best way of doing good to the poor,
is not making them easy in poverty,
but leading or driving them out of it.
Benjamin Franklin, William Temple Franklin
Memoirs of the life and writings of Benjamin Franklin, Vol.4 (1809)
To take from one because it is thought
that his own industry and that of his father's
has acquired too much, in order to spare to others,
who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill,
is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association —
the guarantee to every one of a free exercise
of his industry and the fruits acquired by it.
Thomas Jefferson
Note in Destutt Tracy's Political Economy (1816)

August 11, 2009
Bamster's ears are starting to droop.
You can see it without a loupe.
They are withering forth
to the South and North,
wreaking havoc on most of his troop.
If you play a sport where your ears may be damaged,
it is important to do all you can to protect them.
Carol Ballard
Ears (2009)
But it is remarkable, that the drooping of the ears,
though probably the effect of disuse,
is not accompanied by any decrease in size.
Charles Darwin
The variation of animals and plants
under domestication, Vol. 2

August 10, 2009
Hey, Obama! You are a disgrace
to the President's job, and your face
has the look of a shill.
This is why voters will
vote your a#@ far away from your place.
When you get to be President,
there are all those things, the honors,
the twenty-one gun salutes, all those things,
you have to remember it isn't for you.
It's for the Presidency.
Harry S. Truman
in Plain Speaking:
An Oral Biography of Harry S. Truman

by Merle Miller (1973)
Fraus est celare fraudem.
[Latin, “It is fraud to conceal a fraud.”]
Gentleman of the Middle Temple
The grounds and rudiments of law and equity,
alphabetically digested

August 9, 2009
Our losses are hard to recoup —
Bamster tricked every gullible dupe.
Well, Barack — see the fizz?
Yes, Barack, here it is:
we have proudly p#@$ed in your soup.
A small revenge is humaner
than no revenge at all.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Thus Spake Zarathustra (1891)
I refuse to be victimized
by notions of virtuous behavior.
Calvin and Hobbes (1995)

August 8, 2009
There is now a Joker-faced poster
of Obama. This image does foster
the portrayal we feel
does not try to conceal
the collapse of O-Bum's rollercoaster.
The Joker: See, I'm not a monster.
I'm just ahead of the curve.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Hustlers of the world,
there is one Mark you cannot beat:
the Mark inside...
William S. Burroughs
Naked Lunch (1959)
The real face of Barack Obama
poster: infowars.com

August 7, 2009
Hey, Obama! The mob from your coop
is about to enter the loop.
There will be some poop
for the masses to scoop,
and it all will end up in your soup.
Omen, n. A sign that something will happen
if nothing happens.
Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
The American people are a very generous people
and will forgive almost any weakness,
with the possible exception of stupidity.
Will Rogers
The Illiterate Digest (1924)

August 6, 2009
King Barack is a Big-Eared Idiot.
So, Barack is a Big-Eared Idiot.
Say it twice — no harm.
Third time, though, is the charm:
Yes — Barack is a Big-Eared Idiot.
Maybe somebody ought to write
a book about Obama. It could be called:
Barack Obama is a Big-Eared Idiot.
I'll bet the libs would love that!
Rush Limbaugh
Obama Becomes a Caricature
(August 4, 2009)
...the presence of an idiot
often becomes a source of real danger.
Frederic Bateman
The Idiot; His Place in Creation, and His Claims on Society (1897)

August 5, 2009
King Obama, upset by his glitches,
is inviting his rats and his snitches
to report each event
of intent to dissent.
Should we try to locate all these b#@ches?
It is cheering to see that the rats
are still around — the ship is not sinking.
Eric Hoffer
Reflections on the human condition (1973)
Whenever there has been talk
of exterminating rats, others,
who were not rats, have been exterminated.
Günter Grass
The Rat (1989)

August 4, 2009
Hey, O-Bum! You are nothing — a fruit
of your mother's relentless pursuit
of a life with a man,
who was part of The Plan
that would give her The Meaning, to boot.

So unfortunate you must've been,
leading life where wealth was a sin,
growing up to abhor
every instance of “more”,
knowing well that your nearest kin

by depravity grew to enslave
kids and selves, to a mob, to a wave
of the human distress,
every instance of “less”
taken in as the sign of the brave —

which it wasn't. But this was your guide,
and you went far enough to divide
our life into two:
Black and White, Red and Blue.
Great Divider you are. What a ride...

Hey, Obama! We wish you the most
of the worst you can think of. The cost
of your deeds in our land
will be paid by your band —
“hell to pay” is the gist of this toast.
Obama's birthday is a reminder of
why healthcare is so important. As you probably know,
due to a lack of healthcare coverage, Obama's mother
was turned away from a number of hospitals and was
ultimately forced to give birth in a manger.
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel Live (August 4, 2009)
If you had a million years to do it in,
you couldn't rub out even half
the “F#@k you” signs in the world.
J. D. Salinger
The Catcher in The Rye (1951)

August 3, 2009
King O-Bum got himself consiglieri,
those who could be unstoppable, very.
They were finally stopped,
and his Ears had flopped
when his fairies had failed Little Barry.
Calvin: It's no use!
Everybody gets good enemies except me.
Calvin and Hobbes (1993)
Guard himself as he may,
every moment's an ambush.
Ode XIII (23 – 13 B.C.)

August 2, 2009
Mr. Holder to our nation:
“You are cowards.” Eternal damnation
is the proper reward
for these words of Bum's ward
who's the Warden of Obamanation.
Malevolence keeps its teeth hidden.
Maxim 458
Slander is worse than cannibalism.
St. John Chrysostom

August 1, 2009
Hey, Obama! While praising your ponies,
Larry Flynt didn't fall for your cronies.
And he thinks that you suck,
and it ain't your luck:
he just thinks that you have no cojones.
The morals of a baboon
and the guts of a butterfly.
Truman Capote
in “Capote” by Gerald Clarke (1988)
He was just a coward and that was
the worst luck any man could have.
Ernest Hemingway
For Whom the Bell Tolls (1940)

July 31, 2009
There once was one doctor Fukino.
A concern over Uno Bambino
with no papers in sight
made her feel she is right
fixing odds for the POTUS casino.
Some folk want their luck buttered.
Thomas Hardy
The Mayor of Casterbridge (1886)
As for the law — it catered for a human nature
of which it took a naturally low view.
John Galsworthy
The Forsyte Saga (1906 – 1922)

July 30, 2009
There is something around the eyes
of Obama in every disguise:
something tired, unclean
(caffeine? nicotine?),
and a shade of the darkening skies.
He bears an unmistakable resemblance
to a cornered rat.
Norman Mailer
Advertisements for myself (1959)
There are more disorders of the mind than of the body,
and they are of a more dangerous nature.
The Tusculan Disputations (c.45 B.C.)

July 29, 2009
Captain Hook is still there. His letter
names it all: from the plank to the fetter.
Some may wish to enlist.
We prefer to resist.
We are ready — the sooner, the better.
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody
to go to hell in his own way.
Robert Frost
Speech, Berkeley, California (1935)
You may either win your peace or buy it:
win it, by resistance to evil;
buy it, by compromise with evil.
John Ruskin
The Two Paths (1859)

July 28, 2009
King O-Bum, for attacking your doctor,
gets a title of “Omnidestructor”.
He has ruined your wealth,
and he targets your health
with the help of a government proctor.

King O-Bum isn't one of your friends.
This is when your complacency ends:
when O-Bum will decide
whether saving your hide
will be worthy of money he spends.
For in reason, all government without the consent
of the governed is the very definition of slavery.
Jonathan Swift
The Drapier's Letters (1724 – 1725)
Letter IV: A Letter to the Whole People of Ireland
No man is great enough or wise enough
for any of us to surrender our destiny to.
Henry Miller
The Wisdom of the Heart (1941)

July 27, 2009
Placing all further plans in distress,
first, Obama repaid the largess
of the Union f#@$s,
using Stimulus Bucks.
A strategic mistake, no less.
Nobody would dare stop
the first thing he was going to do.
He was in his honeymoon,
the first black president,
historical and all that.
Rush Limbaugh
Obama on Edge as Magic Fades
(July 22, 2009)
He gets through too late
who goes too fast.
Maxim 767

July 26, 2009
Mingling freely with junior Gods,
Bamster's czars, Bamster's goons, Bamster's squads
bet that folks in distress
will demolish U.S.
Now, what do you think are the odds?
Mr. Burns: I can't be responsible
for what my goons are ordered to do.
The Simpsons (1989)
Scire, deos quoniam propius contingis, oportet.
[Latin, “You live so near the gods,
you're sure to know.”]
Satires (c.35 – 30 B.C.)

July 25, 2009
King Barack had dysfunctional ears
which were fanning his innermost fears:
every time someone spoke
of the matters baroque,
he would instantly break into tears.
It is the slowest yet the daintiest sense;
For even the Ears of such as have no skill,
Perceive a discord, and conceive offence;
And knowing not what is good, yet find the ill.
John Davies
Nosce Teipsum (1599)
But what is the good of still soothing
the delicate ears of our modern effeminates?
Friedrich Nietzsche
On the Genealogy of Morals (1887)

July 24, 2009
Bamster, you've created a drama:
Mr. Gates and James Crowley's mama
(who was quickly replaced
by your babble on race)...
Who is stupid? Barack H. Obama.
Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you
to understand the race situation any more
than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
Dick Gregory
Nigger: An Autobiography (1990)
Ray: Remember what they used to call me in the joint?
Benny: What?
Ray: The brain!
Benny: Noo, that was sarcastic!
Small Time Crooks (2000)

July 23, 2009
Thailand has a town called Phuket.
All broadcasters were trying to duck it.
They were very aware
of this trap ON the air.
Most of them simply couldn't unlock it.

Plans to stop next Iranian rocket
were announced in the town of Phuket.
Mrs. Clinton went there
when O-Bum, OFF the air,
used the word for her special docket.
The right name is an advertisement in itself.
Claude C. Hopkins
Scientific Advertising (1923)
The Dude: Ah, f#@k it.
The Big Lebowski: F#@k it! Yes! That's your answer.
That's your answer for everything!
Tattoo it on your forehead!
The Big Lebowski (1998)

July 22, 2009
King Obama has gotten his clue
when he heard of the “new Waterloo”.
When Napoleon heard
of Obama The T#@d,
he was ready to rise and to sue.
Four hostile newspapers are more
to be feared than a thousand bayonets.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Marcus Vindictus: Don't you know your right flank from your left flank?
Captain Mucus: I'm sorry sir, I flunked flank.
Marcus Vindictus: You flunked flank? Get the flunk out of here!
History of the World: Part I (1981)

July 21, 2009
We are not analyzing the score
or the people we hate (or adore).
Our country is stuck,
thanks to stupid Barack...
“Better than” doesn't cut it no more.
A USA Today/Gallup survey suggested
that six months into Obama's presidency,
his popularity was lower than George W. Bush's
at the same stage of his tenure.
Telegraph.Co.UK (July 21, 2009)
Patriotism is usually stronger than class hatred,
and always stronger than internationalism.
George Orwell
England Your England (1941)

July 20, 2009
From a void, as all expert magicians,
King O-Bum, to fulfill his ambitions,
is creating new czars
(a.k.a. commissars).
EPA should curtail these emissions.
Colonel Sandurz: It's Mega Maid.
She's gone from suck to blow.
Spaceballs (1987)
All governments suffer a recurring problem:
Power attracts pathological personalities.
It is not that power corrupts
but that it is magnetic to the corruptible.
Frank Herbert
Chapterhouse Dune (1985)

July 19, 2009
Foundations of all Obamology
must be rooted in psychopathology.
Bamster has every trait
of the state we equate
with the subject of pure scatology.
S#@t is the tofu of cursing.
David Sedaris
George Washington University (April 4, 2005)
Fornicate this ordure.
Raffles, The Gentleman Thug

July 18, 2009
Every communist b#@ch must be scared
of the coming payback, if she dared
think of things that she dreads
as she serves all these Reds...
We can tell: she'll be unprepared.
V: Certainly there are those
who are more responsible than others,
and they will be held accountable.
V for Vendetta (2005)
Morticia: And our credo:
“Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc.”
We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.
Not just pretty words.
The Addams Family (1991)

July 17, 2009
We can't argue about a state
built by proles for proles — so great
is the concept of zoos
which are run by the crews
which are staffed with the beasts by the Fate...
Democracy is the art and science
of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. Mencken
Chrestomathy (1949)
No plan can prevent a stupid person from doing
the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time —
but a good plan should keep a concentration from forming.
Charles E. Wilson

July 16, 2009
This is what we have said long ago,
long before Bamster's ratings fell low:
there is no way in hell
we would wait till they fell.
Bamster, Reid and Pelosi must go.
Persistent prophecy is a familiar way
of assuring the event.
George Gissing
The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft (1918)
Sideshow Bob: Homer, how can one man have so many enemies?
Homer: I'm a people person.
The Simpsons (1989)

July 15, 2009
Bamster's crew has been purging the links
to the few of most damaging things,
scrubbing all Worldwide Web
clean. A power ebb
has began. Bamster blinked — and he stinks...
If all records told the same tale —
then the lie passed into history and became truth.
George Orwell
Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949)
Postmodernists believe that truth is myth, and myth, truth.
This equation has its roots in pop psychology.
The same people also believe that emotions are a form of reality.
There used to be another name for this state of mind.
It used to be called psychosis.
Brad Holland
Express Yourself (1996)

July 14, 2009
Our country continues to lurch...
Search and seizure? Let's start with the search.
We will give you the scoop,
so you stay in the loop,
getting Bamster away from his perch.
You uncover what is
when you get rid of what isn't.
R. Buckminster Fuller
in “Bucky Fuller's Global Game”
by Phyllis Theroux, Washington Post
(July 19, 1982)
People are usually more convinced by reasons
they discovered themselves
than by those found by others.
Blaise Pascal

July 13, 2009
There once was a mandrill Obama.
He was born in the zoo, and his mama
liked this popular name.
All zoo visitors came
to regard him as Real Obama.

He IS real — BC and all shots
(not like some reprehensible putz...) —
but “the public” complained,
citing passions ingrained...
We are busy connecting the dots.
Coincidence is God's vain attempt
at remaining anonymous.
Charles Irvin
Calvin: I'd say that crossed the line
from Ironic Coincidence to Evil Omen.
Calvin and Hobbes (1990)

July 12, 2009
We were thinking that Egypt should sell
us two pyramids: one for Michelle,
and another for Bamster.
We could buy them a dumpster,
but we think they would not take it well...

Then, there is a contingency action:
we could buy Lenin's Tomb for a fraction
of its cost, just in time.
Brother, spare a dime!
We will spend it to your satisfaction.
A best seller is
the gilded tomb of a mediocre talent.
Logan Pearsall Smith
Art and Letters (1931)
If I need a cause for celebration
Or a comfort I can use to ease my mind
I rely on my imagination
And I dream of an imaginary time.
Billy Joel
Everybody has a dream (1998)

July 11, 2009
Bamster met with Medvedev and Putin,
all in private. Them Russians were mutin'
every sound he made,
just in case if he strayed,
but he didn't — was busy salutin'...

Bamster thought that them Russians are kind —
not a match for his devious mind...
But he managed to fail:
now, Dmitry's blackmail
shoves their rockets up Bamster's behind.

On to Italy. Meeting the Pope,
who was possibly thinking: The Dope
may repent and confess
all his sins to the press,
once he gets to the end of his rope...

Then he went to the country of Ghana.
They played drums (no one there plays piano).
What a nice neighborhood!
He could move! Yes — he could
organize their Pax Africana!...
The way I understand it, the Russians are
sort of a combination of evil and incompetence...
sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
Emo Phillips
If an ass goes a travelling
he will not come home a horse.
Thomas Fuller
Gnomologia (1732)

July 10, 2009
Everywhere O-Bummer arrives,
his distaste for U.S. still survives.
Bamster, if it's so bad,
move to f#@$ing Baghdad —
this will fix our “cheerless” lives.
I know that in the past the U.S.
has sometimes failed to meet its responsibilities
so let me make it clear those days are over.
Barack Obama
G8 summit, L'Aquila, Italy (July 9, 2009)
Trabucco: Do me a favor.
Clooney: Yes?
Trabucco: F#@k off.
Buddy Buddy (1981)

July 9, 2009
Just one hundred and seventy days —
and O-Bum is no longer a craze,
but just one stupid dude...
and we are being screwed
in one hundred and seventy ways.
If the whole human race lay in one grave,
the epitaph on its headstone might well be:
“It seemed a good idea at the time.”
Rebecca West
The New York Times (October 2, 1977)
A miserable little pile of secrets.
André Malraux
Anti-Memoirs (1968)

July 8, 2009
We have lived through the plague and the blight.
Now you see Bamster's vultures in flight.
They're circling above
eying things that you love.
Make them pay for it dearly — fight!
Now nobody get nervous, you ain't got nothing to fear.
You're being robbed by the John Dillinger Gang,
that's the best there is!
John Dillinger
in Dillinger (1973)
They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.
Creighton Abrams
Bastogne (1944)

July 7, 2009
Listen, Bamster: we thought you were smarter.
You are not. So, we offer a starter:
Constitution is here.
We will not let you near.
Go away — we'll stop. That's the barter.
No terms except unconditional and immediate surrender
can be accepted. I propose to move immediately upon your works.
Ulysses S. Grant
Battle of Fort Donelson (1862)
Ronnie Wingate: Excuse me bro',
but who the f#@k are you?
Chili Palmer: I'm the one tellin' you how it is...
Get Shorty (1995)

July 6, 2009
Fish are swimming — because of O-Bum!
Birds are singing — because of O-Bum!
Sun is shining on us,
as we get on the bus —
on the bus that belongs to O-Bum...
He was like a cock who thought
the sun had risen to hear him crow.
George Eliot
Adam Bede (1859)
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.
Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered
for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Hunter S. Thompson
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1972)

July 5, 2009
O say, can you see from afar
how Bamster is acting bizarre
in appointing his czars
to all roles in his farce?
We should stock up on feathers and tar.
Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts
and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add:
the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.
Karl Marx
The 18th Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte (1852)
In this theater of man's life,
it is reserved only for God
and angels to be lookers-on.

Independence Day · July 4, 2009
Pigs are very unlikely to fly.
In four years, you will know why.
We will patiently wait
for a happier date:
“Twenty Thirteen, The Fourth of July”.
The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying,
“Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.”
She's got a baseball bat and yelling,
“You want a piece of me?”
Robin Williams
Live on Broadway (2002)
Nothing baffles the schemes of evil people so much
as the calm composure of great souls.
Comte de Mirabeau

National Tea Party · July 3, 2009
Cap and Trade? Listen, Bamster: we swear
by our soil, our water, our air,
that our patience has snapped.
If you will have us capped,
you can bet: we will trade you — right there.
Desperation is the raw material of drastic change.
William S. Burroughs
The Western Lands (1987)
The idea that “the public interest” supersedes
private interests and rights can have but one meaning:
that the interests and rights of some individuals
take precedence over the interests and rights of others.
Ayn Rand
The Pull Peddlers (1966)

July 2, 2009
There once was a dummy named Gibbs,
whose performance was tied to his lips.
But his brain was attached
to his a#@, and they matched,
thus creating a total eclipse.
He can compress the most words
into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
Abraham Lincoln
in Lincoln The Lawyer
by Frederick Trevor Hill (1906)
Homer: If I could say a few words,
I would be a better public speaker.
The Simpsons (1989)

July 1, 2009
Listen, Bamster: in your “townhall”,
attendees are like whores-on-call.
But the day will arrive
when we ditch all your jive
and regain our freedom for all.
No one ever lost honor
but him who never had any.
Maxim 263
It is the ever-new embodiment of the old fable
of the sale of the soul to the Devil.
The tempter offers wealth, comfort, excitement,
but in return the victim must sell her soul,
nor does the other party forget to exact his due
to the uttermost farthing.
William Booth
In Darkest England and the Way Out (1890)

June 30, 2009
Bamster does it again and again —
still campaigning, and now his campaign
really gets in the way...
Time to stop it. Just say:
“You will NOT — we will NOT, scatterbrain! ”
Big Brother isn't watching.
He's singing and dancing.
He's pulling rabbits out of a hat.
Big Brother's busy holding your attention
every moment you're awake.
He's making sure you're always distracted.
He's making sure you're fully absorbed.
Chuck Palahniuk
Lullaby (2002)
To knock a thing down,
especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle,
is a deep delight of the blood.
George Santayana
Reason in Society (1905)

June 29, 2009
Hey, Obama! You are a jackass!
People are very angry — en masse.
NO, you won't — because
NO, we won't, of course,
let your a#@ reach its critical mass.
Such men as he be never at heart's ease
Whiles they behold a greater than themselves,
And therefore are they very dangerous.
William Shakespeare
Julius Caesar (1599)
Clad in a lion's shaggy hide,
An ass spread terror far and wide.
Jean de La Fontaine
Fables (1678)

June 28, 2009
Disobedience can be quite civil
and is useful for fighting this evil.
Not a drop, not a crumb,
not a penny for Bum
and with time, he'll wither and shrivel.
History says that wherever
a weak and ignorant people possess a thing
which a strong and enlightened people want,
it must be yielded up peaceably.
Mark Twain
Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar (1897)
Disobedience, the rarest and most courageous of the virtues,
is seldom distinguished from neglect,
the laziest and commonest of the vices.
George Bernard Shaw
Maxims for Revolutionists (1903)

June 27, 2009
Your mentality, Afrocolonial,
by itself is a good testimonial,
that your “love” for U.S.
is a pure BS
even when it is made ceremonial.
Political tags — such as royalist, communist,
democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative,
and so forth — are never basic criteria.
The human race divides politically
into those who want people to be controlled
and those who have no such desire.
Robert A. Heinlein
The Notebooks of Lazarus Long (1978)
Man's task is... to become conscious of the contents
that press upward from the unconscious.
Carl Jung
Memories, Dreams, Reflections (1963)

June 26, 2009
There once was a fellow named Gandhi.
His advice now comes very handy:
no violence — none.
Don't cringe. Don't run.
Just say “No”, and ignore the candy...
Civil disobedience becomes a sacred duty
when the state has become lawless or corrupt.
And a citizen who barters with such a state
shares in its corruption and lawlessness...
Every citizen is responsible for every act
of his government...
There is only one sovereign remedy,
namely, non-violent non-cooperation.
Mohandas Gandhi
Young India (January 5, 1922)
Stand still... And refuse to retreat.
Look at it as God looks at it
and draw upon His power
to hold up under the blast.
Charles R. Swindoll
Starting Over: Fresh Hope for the Road Ahead (1983)

June 25, 2009
Bamster fixed our cars, our banks,
our taxes and jobs, and he hangs
over us... We are hexed.
Our health will be next!
Bum-fumb-duckery? Thanks, but no thanks!
It is in the nature of the men
handling the apparatus of compulsion and coercion
to overrate its power to work, and to strive at subduing
all spheres of human life to its immediate influence.
Ludwig von Mises
Omnipotent government (1944)
To do good you should know what good is.
Maxim 389

June 24, 2009
Bamster is a disease — we agree —
grown to a pandemic degree...
We are welcoming time
when, in frivolous rhyme,
we'll report our land Bamster-free.
Man's deadliest weapon is language.
He is as susceptible to being hypnotized by slogans
as he is to infectious diseases.
And where there is an epidemic,
the group-mind takes over.
Arthur Koestler
Janus: A Summing Up (1978)
If he is not the image of God,
then he is a disease of the dust.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Wine When it is Red (1908)

June 23, 2009
We are focused on dissing Barack.
He is simply a radical schmuck,
who was given a job
to provide for the mob
and deliver their dream — with a buck.
Nothing is so easy to fake
as the inner vision.
Robertson Davies
What's Bred in the Bone (1985)
And Mammon wins his way
where seraphs might despair.
Lord Byron
Childe Harold (1818)

June 22, 2009
As we move through these turbulent times
full of ills, misdemeanors and crimes,
we are sure: ill will
of O-Bummer will still
burn his Ears by our rhymes.
The man who does ill,
ill must suffer too.
in The Tragedies of Aeschylus (1868)
The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
Sun Tzu
The Art of War (c.6th century B.C.)

June 21, 2009
Listen, Bamster! Keep saying “I can” —
soon enough you'll find that your plan
doesn't work in the void
and you can't avoid
hearing back:“No, YOU can't. WE can.”
Our major obligation is not to mistake
slogans for solutions.
Edward R. Murrow
In Search of Light (1967)
The right is ever beyond
the reach of the wrong.
Maxim 408

June 20, 2009
Don't be scared of Bamster! The threat
is quite real, but don't forget:
in about two years,
voters will crop his Ears,
thus obtaining a suitable pet.
No more good must be attempted
than the nation can bear.
Thomas Jefferson
Letter to Dr. Walter Jones (1801)
Crises have a way of thrusting into the limelight
hitherto obscure persons, and giving them,
for a long or short period, a leading role.
Susan Ertz
After Noon (1926)

June 19, 2009
No, Obama is not from Nantucket,
but from Kenya. Let's not knock it.
Simply tell him: “You suck,
and regardless of luck,
you will have to continue to suck it...”
If at first you don't succeed,
failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp
in Quentin Crisp
by Tim Fountain (2002)
It is but human nature to hate the man
whom you have hurt.
Dialogus Agricola and Germania (1908)

June 18, 2009
We have visited Mount Rushmore
to partake of American lore.
Next to Washington's face
we have noted a trace
of O-Bum... So, we looked for some more,

and right next to the entrance we saw
a peculiar truck. On the floor
of the trailer — O-Head
and O-Bust... and we said:
“What a perfect setup! But what for?”
On June 18th, one of our reporters visited Mount Rushmore, where he identified a sketch of Bamster's face already carved into the rock (see an unaltered photograph below, with the mentioned sketch appropriately marked in a light shade of red).
And then our reporter witnessed something else.
All pictures below were taken at the entrance to the Mount Rushmore monument and at the National Presidential Wax Museum (at the base of Mount Rushmore), on June 18, 2009, between 2 and 2:30 PM. Bamster's headless bust and Bamster's head on a trailer looked very well separated.
Please note the conspicuous absence of the presidential mole on the left side of the face (Joseph Stalin, whose face was disfigured by a smallpox, has baby skin on ALL paintings and ALL — of course, retouched... — photographs).

Have we witnessed a tryout of sorts?

Nnah... They said this piece of junk was on a promotional tour, on its way to the Presidents Park.
There is a statue of limitation.
Samuel Goldwyn
They showed you a statue and told you to pray.
Billy Joel
Only The Good Die Young (1977)

June 17, 2009
Ratings sink, and the pollsters are timid.
Planning chaos, Bum dared to scheme it
as a blitzkrieg, dumbs#@t...
Bum, it's time to admit:
every man has to know his limit.
Well, me don't swim too tough
so me don't go in the water too deep.
Bob Marley
History does not long entrust the care
of freedom to the weak or the timid.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
First Inaugural Address (1953)

June 16, 2009
There are various rumors and lies,
but we have to believe our eyes:
executing the kill,
Bamster shows his skill...
King O-Bum is The Lord of the Flies.
But how, if that fly had a father and mother?
How would he hang his slender gilded wings,
And buzz lamenting doings in the air!
Poor harmless fly,
That, with his pretty buzzing melody,
Came here to make us merry! And thou hast
kill'd him.
William Shakespeare
Titus Andronicus (1593)
...his former name
Is heard no more in heaven.
John Milton
Paradise Lost (1667)

June 15, 2009
No, the Healthcare bill won't pass.
Even Bamster would know: his a#@
is so stressed, that the force
from additional source
of malfunctions will bust it, alas...
Harry Callahan: A man's got to know his limitations.
Magnum Force (1973)
The field of consciousness is tiny.
It accepts only one problem at a time.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Flight to Arras (1942)

June 14, 2009
In a village, located in Kenya,
people suffer from megalomania.
Their idiot, Bum,
has been missing. He swam
to U.S. (or, they say, Transylvania)...
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, well, you see,
I just want to call me travel agency.
They've routed me off me route.
Transylvania 6-5000 (1963)
For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure
is the desire to escape from reality.
Nathaniel Branden
The Psychology of Pleasure (1964)

June 13, 2009
Things are truly beginning to stink.
Time to rise. Time to say what we think.
Time to get what we want,
time to push and to taunt
every scumbag, bright Red or just Pink.
This republic was not established by cowards;
and cowards will not preserve it.
Elmer Davis
But we were born free (1954)
We have room for but one flag, the American flag,
and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes
all wars against liberty and civilization,
just as much as it excludes any foreign flag
of a nation to which we are hostile...
Theodore Roosevelt
Letter to the American Defense Society (1919)

June 12, 2009
Bamster's crew peddles us their wares.
Stuff is worthless, and nobody cares.
Soon, this madness will stop.
Then we shove every prop
they had used, right up his and up theirs.
During his office, treason was no crime.
The sons of Belial had a glorious time.
John Dryden
Absalom and Achitophel (1681)
Beware the fury of a patient man.
John Dryden
Absalom and Achitophel (1681)

June 11, 2009
We enjoy seeing signs of the tide:
Bamster starting to slip and to slide,
zombies starting to think,
people starting to drink
to the failure of Bamster, worldwide.
I think we consider too much
the good luck of the early bird
and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
in Franklin D. Roosevelt
by Frank Burt Freidel (1952)
No matter how great your triumphs
or how tragic your defeats —
approximately 1.5 billion Chinese
couldn't care less.
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

June 10, 2009
There once was one Reverend Wright.
He screamed out his brains every night
how he hated U.S.
But O-Bum, nonetheless,
kept his friendship with Reverend tight.

Then O-Bum got elected (oh, dear...).
To protect his untouchable rear,
he allowed “them Jews”
(yep, that's Wright, in the news)
to control the access to The Ear...
The minister had not set out to be a traitor.
He had merely put his ambitions before his integrity,
and circumstances had done the rest.
Victor O'Reilly
Games of the Hangman (1991)
You don't choose your family, but
you choose what church you want to attend.
Hillary Clinton (2008)

June 9, 2009
Looks like Bamster is sort of a test,
and by Jove, we shall do our best.
We shall call, unafraid,
every spade — just a spade.
That's the least we can do to protest...
A whole page of learned polysyllables may not
convey as much as the statement that
a certain woman is a b#@ch,
or that a certain man is a jerk.
Eric Berne
Games people play (1964)
The true test of character is not
how much we know how to do,
but how we behave when
we don't know what to do.
John W. Holt, Jr.

June 8, 2009
Our leader has pledged his support
in defense of Islam. We report:
Arafat had expired;
then Bin Laden was fired;
now, Bamster is holding the fort...
There are historic situations in which refusal
to defend the inheritance of a civilization,
however imperfect, against tyranny and aggression
may result in consequences even worse than war.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Christian Faith and the World Crisis (1941)
A word carries far — very far —
deals destruction through time
as the bullets go flying through space.
Joseph Conrad
Lord Jim (1900)

June 7, 2009
How desperate have we become
to accept leadership of O-Bum!
Of all things Kafkaesque,
this one feels most grotesque:
being led by the Communist scum!
Characteristics of a popular politician:
a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
Knights (424 B.C.)
If he stops smoking,
we will hit three out of three.
OBAMAFU editorial comment

June 6, 2009
Overdue for a change of regime,
we would like to reclaim self-esteem,
which was taken from us
by Barack the Bumass.
All we need is a vote and a dream...
The task of weaning various people and groups
from the national nipple will not be easy.
The sound of whines, bawls, screams and invective
will fill the air as the agony of withdrawal pangs
finds voice.
Linda Bowles
The Weaning Process (1994)
Those who stay away from the election
think that one vote will do no good:
'Tis but one step more to think
one vote will do no harm.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Journals (1912)

June 5, 2009
No, Obama is not from Nantucket
(that's entirely different docket...),
but, by picking a judge
with a racial grudge,
he is asking for it — let him suck it!...
Wendy: F#@k him. F#@k him right in the ear!
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
We should have been expecting it.
You tangle with a foot-long cockroach
and live through it, naturally you
have to expect a giant lizard with three tits
to come along sooner or later.
Spider Robinson
Callahan's Legacy (1996)

June 4, 2009
“The Islam”, Bamster tried to insist,
“had created and made to exist
compass, printing and pen...”
Could be? Maybe... but then,
now Chinese must be really p#@$ed ...

What Islam has to do with the pen?
Or the compass? Or printing? Or then,
should we say “That's enough.
Let's count the stuff
Jews and Christians gave us.”? Amen...
It was Islam — at places like Al-Azhar — that carried
the light of learning through so many centuries,
paving the way for Europe's Renaissance and Enlightenment.
It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed
the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and
tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing...
Barack Obama
Cairo, Egypt (June 4, 2009)
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
Deconstructing Harry (1997)

June 3, 2009
Muslims now can truly rejoice.
Bamster lends them his beautiful voice,
and instead of Osama,
they are getting Obama
as an almost identical choice.
If you actually took the number of Muslim Americans,
we'd be one of the largest Muslim countries in the world.
Barack Obama
Interview to French TV (June 1, 2009)
In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten;
in the human kingdom, define or be defined.
Thomas Szasz
The Second Sin (1973)

June 2, 2009
There once was a man named Obama,
who was constantly missing his mama.
She's no longer with us,
but when we need to cuss,
we've got a good word for Obama.
Jocasta (Oedipus' mother): I hate to tell you
what they call my son in Harlem.
Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
Dog Psychiatrist: He has other problems.
I believe he suffers from nipple anxiety.
Probably, came from a nine-dog litter.
Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986)

June 1, 2009
There once was one Sotomayor.
Bamster chose her to even the score:
racist bigoted b#@ch
with agenda to pitch...
Let's hope she'll be shown the door.
There is no bigotry like that
of “free thought“ run to seed.
Horace Greeley
in A Dictionary of Thoughts
by Tryon Edwards
And in a groundbreaking moment of scientific discovery,
it just recently was determined that Latina women —
and not white men — are best suited for jobs as judges.
White men simply don't have the empathy
that Latina women possess, and judges require empathy
to decide on important cases.
It is still unclear if empathy is an inherited trait,
and one that Latina women are born with,
or if it is something the Latina comes to possess
through her unique and rich life experiences.
S. E. Cupp
White Men Can't Jump or Judge Well (2009)

May 31, 2009
No, Bamster is not from Nantucket.
So, we reached into our pocket,
and located the thing
for Obama The King
with suggestions on how to suck it.
When I disapprove of something,
it's the only thing I can think of to do.
It's a rather rude gesture, but at least
it's clear what you mean.
Katharine Hepburn
in Katharine Hepburn: A Remarkable Woman
by Anne Edwards (2000)
When in doubt, go for the d#@k joke.
Robin Williams
Playboy interview (1992)

May 30, 2009
We don't know if Bum will succeed
with whatever he started to breed,
but we hope that storms,
locusts, beetles and worms
will take care of all of his seed...
Destroy the seed of evil,
or it will grow up to your ruin.
The Swallow and the Other Birds
An imposition of bad seed
is a robbery of the worst kind.
George Washington
in The writings of George Washington, Vol.28 (1944)

May 29, 2009
State of Texas does not like Baracks.
Our rights, our guns, our trucks
aren't here for them,
and we wholly condemn
their notion of freedom — it sucks.
Texas has yet to learn submission
to any oppression, come from what source it may.
Sam Houston (1850)
in Life of Sam Houston, of Texas
by William Carey Crane (1884)
We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish.
It is vain to look for present aid: none is at hand.
We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard,
and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues!
Be men, be free men, that your children
may bless their fathers' names.
Sam Houston (1836)
in History of Texas
by J. M. Morphis (1875)

May 28, 2009
When we went to our capital's “woods”,
those we met weren't Robins, but hoods.
Not an obvious link,
but Barack made us think:
“Get this f#@$er away from the goods...”
Ahchoo: We didn't land on Sherwood Forest!
Sherwood Forest landed on us!
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
As there is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood
by those who hear it, so reasonable arguments,
challenges to magnanimity, and appeals to sympathy
or justice, are folly when we are dealing with
human crocodiles and boa-constrictors.
William James
The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902)

May 27, 2009
Hey, Obama! Your communist stance
won't last very long — not a chance.
Our country has seen
through your commie machine
long before you've started your dance.
How do you tell a communist?
Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin.
And how do you tell an anti-Communist?
It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Ronald Reagan
He had the uneasy manner of a man
who is not among his own kind,
and who has not seen enough of the world
to feel that all people are
in some sense his own kind.
Willa Cather
The Song of the Lark (1915)

May 26, 2009
Friends, we are on the verge of collapse.
Can we heal ourselves? Yes, perhaps.
There is only one way
to prevent the decay:
in two thousand ten — no relapse.
Words do not change their meaning
over the centuries as much as names do for us
in the space of a few years.
Marcel Proust
The Guermantes Way (1920)
If a country is worth living in,
it is worth fighting for.
Manning Coles
Drink to Yesterday (1941)

Memorial Day · May 25, 2009
Lost your job? Getting ready to flee?
Everybody should move to D.C.!
Perpetrating the gloom,
Bamster started a boom:
work for government — you'll be free!
World War II was the last
government program that really worked.
George Will (1975)
The gentle government that promises
to hold our hand as we cross the street,
once on the other side, refuses to let go.
Theodore Forstmann
As Capitalism Wins, the U.S. Drops Out (1995)

May 24, 2009
No, Obama is not from Nantucket,
but he flew to the top like a rocket
fueled by all kinds of crap
he has managed to tap.
When he lands — let him manage to duck it...
The dregs may stir themselves as they please;
they fall back to the bottom by their own coarseness.
Joseph Joubert
Some of the “Thoughts” of Joseph Joubert (1867)
As he rose like a rocket,
he would fall like a stick.
Thomas Paine
To The People of America (1782)

May 23, 2009
All investors! This doesn't make sense:
now your dollar is worth a few cents.
How come you are mum
on account of scum
which is holding your life in suspense?
Familiarize yourself with the chains of bondage
and you prepare your own limbs to wear them.
Abraham Lincoln
Speech at Edwardsville (September 11, 1858)
Nothing like a little
disaster for sorting things out.
Blow Up (1966)

May 22, 2009
Listen, Bamster: it is very true,
we do wish a misfortune for you.
It's a zero-sum game:
if you win what you claim,
we'll fight for the soup — in a queue.
God protect us from what
we may one day get used to.
Barbara Hambly
Dog Wizard (1992)
It's just as unpleasant to get more
than you bargain for as to get less.
George Bernard Shaw
Getting Married (1908)

May 21, 2009
No, Bamster is not from Nantucket,
He engaged in a different racket:
he is peddling BS
on TV in U.S.
and it drips off the screen by the bucket.
An ass may bray a good while
before he shakes the stars down.
George Eliot
Romola (1863)
Live by publicity,
you'll probably die by publicity.
Russell Baker

May 20, 2009
There is now a group called ACORN.
Bunch of scumbags, ill-bred and ill-born.
Bamster helps them to thrive —
he's the Queen of the hive,
their soul... Saul Alinsky... reborn...
I'm queen of my own compost heap,
and I'm getting used to the smell.
Ani Difranco
Swandive (1998)
Worker bees can leave.
Even drones can fly away.
The Queen is their slave.
Chuck Palahniuk
Fight Club (1996)

May 19, 2009
We would like to expand the debate
on Obamian view of the State,
where paying the way
for O-Bummer to play,
UAW got the rebate...
You pays your money and
you takes your chances.
I owe those unions...
Barack Obama
The Audacity Of Hope (2006)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 18, 2009
There once was a boy, Little Barry
(that's “Barack” — so, “Hussein” must be “Harry”...)
Back in time, when his mother
got f#@$ed up by his father,
Dear God, why she didn't miscarry?
O Arjun, the marks of those
who are born with demonic qualities are:
Hypocrisy, arrogance, pride,
anger, harshness, and ignorance.
Bhagavat Gita
Prince John: Such an unusual name, “Latrine”.
How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO “Latrine”?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be “S#@thouse”.
Prince John: It's a good change. That's a good change!
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

May 17, 2009
There once was a man named Barack.
His nicknames made a sizable stack:
Bamster, Bamson, Bumass,
Bum Bin Bam, Bumitasse,
Bamioso, O-Bum, Bam-Fumb-Duck...
You have but to know an object by its proper name
for it to lose its dangerous magic.
Elias Canetti
Auto-da-fé (1935)
Of all eloquence a nickname is the most concise,
and of all arguments the most unanswerable.
William Hazlitt
On Nicknames (1818)

May 16, 2009
There once was a guy named Obama,
full of vinegar, p#ss , and some glamour.
Glamour seems to be gone,
and his eau de Cologne
cannot cover the smell of the trauma...
There is no odor so bad
as that which arises from goodness tainted.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden; or, Life in the Woods (1854)
The only questions this year are
how badly will they stink,
how long will they stink,
and will they ever not stink?
Senseless (1998)

May 15, 2009
Politicians can turn on a dime.
That's the truth: they are slicker than slime.
We are stuck in this mess,
and we have to confess:
we should know much better next time...
Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind
only the slime of a new bureaucracy.
Franz Kafka
in Conversations with Kafka
by Gustav Janouch (1971)
I either want less corruption,
or more chance to participate in it.
Ashleigh Brilliant

May 14, 2009
It's the time when we all have to learn,
that we can't spend more than we earn.
Bamster — thanks for the “news”!
We should thoughtfully choose
next Messiah, wherever he's born...
Look at me. You're trying to tell me
you f#@$ed up without sounding stupid,
and that's hard to do.
Get Shorty (1995)
In this country everyone must
pay for everything he gets.
L. Frank Baum
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900)

May 13, 2009
Can you rhyme an “Obama” with “bummer”?
We have heard rhymes both smarter and dumber.
Crystal balls are abound,
and the one we have found,
says: this rhyme will still fit in the summer...
Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.
[Latin, “Have patience and endure;
this unhappiness will one day be beneficial.”]
Amorum III (c.20 B.C.)
Disappointment seldom cures us of expectation.
Samuel Johnson
Idler (1758)

May 12, 2009
Our president wants to embrace
new approach at prestissimo pace.
Whose arrangements he sings?
His appearance brings
back again the Manchurian Case...
To know that one has a secret
is to know half the secret itself.
Henry Ward Beecher
Norwood: or, Village life in New England (1892)
I know that's a Secret,
for it's whisper'd every where.
William Congreve
Love for Love (1695)

May 11, 2009
No, we do not believe in civility —
not when we are exposed to hostility.
Bamster knows no restraint,
so we certainly ain't
contemplating the gentle docility.

All the decency, all the nobility
will not stop him. In all probability,
parliamentary rules
aren't suitable tools
to protect our freedom's fragility.
What do you despise?
By this are you truly known.
Frank Herbert
Dune (1965)
One should forgive one's enemies,
but not before they are hanged.
Heinrich Heine

May 10, 2009
This is Sunday, all quiet and clear.
No news, so the day does appear
as “before we were hit”...
We just have to repeat:
this O-Bum is a pain in the rear...
A certain conqueror asked Nasruddin:
“All the great rulers of the past
had honorific titles with the name of God in them:
there was, for instance, God-Gifted,
God-Bestowed, God-Blest, and so on.
How about suggesting some such name for me?”
“God Forbid.”, said Nasruddin.
The Funniest Tales of Mullah Nasruddin (2004)
The true paradise is
the paradise that we have lost.
Marcel Proust
Time Regained: In Search of Lost Time (1927)

May 9, 2009
Bamster's fans are beginning to balk:
he was planning a vigorous walk
all the way to kolkhoz
and they weren't, because
they kept thinking it was just the talk...
By the skillful and sustained use of propaganda,
one can make a people see even heaven as hell or
an extremely wretched life as paradise.
Adolf Hitler
quoted in Ordeal by Battle
by Cyril Falls (1943)
History is a vast early warning system.
Norman Cousins (1978)

May 8, 2009
Empathizing on someone's behind”
sounds close to things of the kind
that our Bamster has done
to so many, and none
have reported sensations refined...
When a thing is funny,
search it for a hidden truth.
George Bernard Shaw
Back to Methuselah (1921)
I think it's easy to mistake understanding
for empathy — we want empathy so badly...
It's hard and ugly to know somebody can
understand you without even liking you.
Thomas Harris
Hannibal (1999)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 7, 2009
“Can we grab some more companies, honey?”
“Yes — but clock has been rapidly running...”
“Can we get just one more,
like we did it before?
Just ask Fed — they will print us more money!”
Focusing your life solely on making a buck
shows a certain poverty of ambition.
Barack Obama
If all else fails, immortality can always
be assured by spectacular error.
John Kenneth Galbraith
Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went (1975)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

National Day of Prayer · May 6, 2009
Our Bamster does not want a day
when we all are encouraged to pray.
He cannot make us pray
to himself, so the way
we would pray is, for him, so passé...
Unless we place our religion
and our treasure in the same thing,
religion will always be sacrificed.
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense
that the church he currently did not attend
was Catholic.
Kingsley Amis
One Fat Englishman (1963)
“T.P.” is an affectionate name for the teleprompter... Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 5, 2009
Our leader keeps all that he took.
Heaven knows what else he'll cook
up with methods and plot
from these pages he got
memorized from the Lenin's cookbook...
Reporter: Do you have anything to say to your fans?
Mickey: You ain't seen nothin' yet.
Natural Born Killers (1994)
The problem isn't the cook.
The problem is the cookbook.
P. J. O'Rourke
The Problem is Politics (2008)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 4, 2009
We're flying American flags.
Flags are flying. Prosperity lags.
Rags to riches we went,
but the way this is bent,
we'll go from riches to rags...
Hope is the feeling you have
that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Jean Kerr
Finishing Touches (1973)
The prevalent fear of poverty
among the educated classes
is the worst moral disease
from which our civilization suffers.
William James
The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 3, 2009
He assumes that his ego (in charge
of his goals and his habits) will barge
into everyone's life,
slicing through, like a knife...
Listen, Bamster: your cage is too large.
“Dere was too much Ego in his Cosmos.”
Rudyard Kipling
Bertran and Bimi
Life's Handicap (1891)
...A swollen magpie in a fitful sun,
Half black half white
Not knowst'ou wing from tail
Pull down thy vanity
     How mean thy hates
Fostered in falsity
     Pull down thy vanity
Rathe to destroy, niggard in charity
Pull down thy vanity
     I say pull down.
Ezra Pound
Canto LXXXI (1945)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 2, 2009
Our leader is bleeding us dry.
So, a “bleeder”? Confused?... To comply
with the special need
to define such a bleed,
Bleader” would be a good one to try.
There is no worse tyranny than to force a man
to pay for what he does not want merely because
you think it would be good for him.
Robert A. Heinlein
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (1966)
And tell how little our large veins would bleed,
Would we but yield them to thy bitter need.
William Cullen Bryant
To a Mosquito (1836)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

May 1, 2009
Our country is tired and blue,
coughing, sneezing, and fever just grew,
aggravating headaches,
sudden chills, body aches...
Swine or not, this one feels like a flu.
The ideal way to get rid of
any infectious disease would be
to shoot instantly every person
who comes down with it.
H. L. Mencken
The Library
The American Mercury (1925)
In a nation ruled by swine,
all pigs are upwardly mobile —
and the rest of us are f#@$ed
until we can put our acts together.
Hunter S. Thompson
The Great Shark Hunt (1979)

April 30, 2009
Bum got Chrysler and General Motors.
(UAW were the promoters...).
It is safe to assume
that two bankruptcies loom...
Get your hatchets, bondholders — and voters!
We have a lot of people revolutionizing the world
because they've never had to present a working model.
Charles F. Kettering
in Prophet of Progress
by Thomas Alvin Boyd (1961)
One of the things the government can't do is run anything.
The only things our government runs
are the post office and the railroads,
and both of them are bankrupt.
Lee Iacocca (2003)

April 29, 2009
100 days isn't really much.
But Obama has shown his touch.
Tried to grab a whole lot,
but so far, all he got
was debris from his “touching” and such...
I thought you said he was a getaway driver.
What the f#@k can he get away from, eh?
Snatch (2000)
If we could sell our experiences
for what they cost us
we'd be millionaires.
Abigail Van Buren

April 28, 2009
There once was one Senator Specter,
widows, orphans, and wildlife protector.
When we heard all the news,
we were somewhat confused:
gnaw your own? That's Hannibal Lecter!
There isn't any finer folks living
than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
Will Rogers
How We Elect Our Presidents (1952)
An aching tooth is better out than in,
To lose a rotten member is a gain.
Richard Baxter, Hypocrisy

April 27, 2009
Our chances for peace? None or slim.
With Obama, we are on a limb.
Why we weren't (or were?)
hit again — “blast and blur”?
Maybe, next 9/11 was — HIM?
What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things,
when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?
George Bernard Shaw
The Irrational Knot (1905)
All warfare is based on deception.
Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable;
when using our forces, we must seem inactive;
when we are near, we must make the enemy believe
we are far away; when far away,
we must make him believe we are near.
Sun Tzu
The Art of War (c.6th century B.C.)

April 26, 2009
“All is here, and nothing amiss.”
“We are leaping across this abyss...”
In the midst of the bliss,
why we hear a hiss?
(We should not think — on Sunday! — like this...)
Hell is empty,
And all the devils are here.
William Shakespeare
The Tempest (1610)
...He hears
On all sides, from innumerable tongues
A dismal universal hiss, the sound
Of public scorn.
John Milton
Paradise Lost (1667)

April 25, 2009
Hey, America! How you feel?
Tired? Nauseous? Refusing a meal?
All those symptoms do tell
that you may not be well...
“Morning after”? You may need a pill.
It is no time for mirth and laughter,
the cold, gray dawn of the morning after!
George Ade
Verses and Jingles (1911)
We learn geology the morning after the earthquake.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Conduct of Life (1860)

April 24, 2009
Tell Obama to go pound sand.
He “barack”ed all of our land.
He is selling your kids,
your grand-kids, great-grand-kids
as his slaves — to his communist band.
The benevolent despot who sees himself
as a shepherd of the people still demands
from others the submissiveness of sheep.
Eric Hoffer
The Ordeal of Change (1963)
Michael Corleone: When they come...
They come at what you love.
Godfather: Part III (1990)

April 23, 2009
What a pompous, self-centered dolt!
Every step — a misstep and a jolt.
The Obamian mass
has exalted this ass
having no better ass to exalt.
Fashion consultant: If you ever need an outfit
to match that stick up your a#@, give me a call.
Hung (2009)
An ass is beautiful in the eyes of an ass.
Latin proverb
in Latin Proverbs and Quotations
by Alfred Henderson (1869)

April 22, 2009
“Wishing all of the Reds to be dead,
they are livid, determined, and led
by desire to beat
all this communist s#@t.”
Yep. That's us (maybe, not enough said…).
Never fight fair with a stranger, boy.
You'll never get out of the jungle that way.
Arthur Miller
Death of a Salesman (1949)
Life being what it is,
one dreams of revenge.
Paul Gauguin
Paul Gauguin's Intimate Journals (1921)

April 21, 2009
Having guns (not yet taken by bans),
send them South, with definite plans:
this will help us to find
what's the prevalent kind,
Mexi-CANNOTs, or... well... Mexi-CANs?
Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
There are four kinds of homicide:
felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

April 20, 2009
The “official photo” of you,
Bamster, doesn't diminish the view
that a fascist content
is a part of intent
that is driving both you and your crew.

No changes in shape — just the light,
the moustache (you could grow it, right?).
Change the brightness, contrast —
and the ghost from the past
will be keeping us frightened all night...
If you want a vision of the future,
imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever.
George Orwell
Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949)
Why is everybody behaving as
if there were no reason to panic?
Ashleigh Brilliant
Pot-Shot #0305
Here is something we discovered:

1. Download the official portrait of Bamster at
2. Save the image and open it in Photoshop.
4. Convert the image to Grayscale (Image-Mode-Grayscale).
5. Using Image-Adjustments-Brightness/Contrast,
     adjust Brightness to (-36), and Contrast to (+96).
6. Add the moustache...

To see the animated changes, click here (animated GIF file: 1.29 Mb — it does take a few seconds to download).

April 19, 2009
Our leader is sweating with fear
as the end of his term draws near.
Not so near, you'd say.
Still few years, you'd say.
But by then — no bull, just a steer...
You fellows know what a steer is.
That's a bull who's lost his social standing.
Lyndon B. Johnson
in The Johnson Humor
by Bill Adler (1964)
At the least, bear patiently,
if thou canst not joyfully.
Thomas à Kempis
The Imitation of Christ (1418)

April 18, 2009
Waterboarding and other pursuits —
oh, the joy of all ACLUts!
Can't torture? This scum?
Why? This should've become
most preferred of the questioning routes!

Waterboarding is nothing. They kill
our people — by this, they shall seal
their fate. They were warned,
and will get what they earned.
We should rip them a new one. We will.
We are all ready to be savage in some cause.
The difference between a good man and a bad one
is the choice of the cause.
William James
The letters of William James (1920)
The ancient Romans might as well have said,
“Oh the Germanic tribes have valid nationalistic
and cultural aspirations. Let's pull the legions
off the Rhine, submit our differences to a multilateral
peace conference chaired by the Pathan Empire and start
a Vandal studies program at the Academy in Athens.”
P. J. O'Rourke
Holidays in Hell (2000)

April 17, 2009
We predicted: Fidel and Barack
are two cars on the very same track.
Do you wonder which one
will come first — with Iran
catching up while they don't look back?
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed,
no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Catch-22 (1961)
C.W.: They all look the same upside down.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)

April 16, 2009
This Obama thing doesn't look right.
He's the only one claiming the light,
while the darkness falls down
on our cities and towns,
telling us we belong in the night.

Hey, Obama! Don't bet on your might.
Things are changing — they will be made right.
We are still in the dark,
but remember: one spark
makes the fire — which lights up the night.
As nightfall does not come all at once,
neither does oppression.
In both instances, there is a twilight
when everything remains seemingly unchanged.
And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware
of change in the air — however slight —
lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
William O. Douglas
The Douglas Letters (1987)
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on.
Julia Ward Howe
Battle Hymn of the Republic (1862)

National Tea Party · April 15, 2009
Boston Harbor has seen a discord
over taxes we couldn't afford.
Now, the question remains:
under current constraints,
what or whom do we throw overboard?
To spare the guilty
is to injure the innocent.
Maxim 113
The most important ways in which I think the Internet
will affect the big issue is that it will make it
more difficult for government to collect taxes.
Milton Friedman
PBS interview (2000)

April 14, 2009
Roman legions oft settled the score
when returning back home from the war,
kicking emperor's butt.
Is this what we've got
in the “right-wing” assumptions galore?
It is not with much credulity
I listen to any when they speak evil
of those whom they are going to plunder.
Edmund Burke
Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
William Shakespeare
Henry VI (c.1590)

April 13, 2009
Any tax aggravates hypertension.
You have lost all your savings — and pension.
So, O-Bum took his share.
Should the rest be right there?
We don't think so. Just file an extension...
The power to tax, once conceded, has no limits;
it continues until it destroys.
Robert A. Heinlein
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (1966)
I would like to electrocute everyone who uses
the word “fair” in connection with income tax policies.
William F. Buckley, Jr.
Better Than Nothing (1985)

April 12, 2009
Three confirmed individual kills.
Thieves were killed, and it matters — it feels
good. All thieves will be dead
once we're dealing in lead,
letting Hillary manage all squeals.

Three confirmed individual kills.
Thank you, Navy, for letting your Seals
do their job on the dot.
They are heroes we got
just before we got all these new deals...
It's the fact that Republicans are squares.
And it's the squares who know how to fly
the fighter planes and operate the missiles
and the bombs and work the M-16s.
Liberals would still be fumbling with
the federally mandated trigger locks.
P. J. O'Rourke
Godzilla Lives Here (2002)
Here let those reign, whom Pensions can incite,
To vote a Patriot black, a Courtier white,
Explain their Country's dear-bought Rights away
And plead for Pirates in the Face of Day.
Samuel Johnson
London: A Poem (1738)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

April 11, 2009
Teachers? No, just gullible fools.
Think Obama is one of the tools
to promote better learning?
While our country is burning?
Get his portraits away from your schools!
Human history becomes more and more
a race between education and catastrophe.
H. G. Wells
The Outline of History (1919)
Ars fit, ubi a teneris crimen condiscitur annis.
[Latin, “Where crime is taught from early years,
it becomes a part of nature.”]
Heroides (c.25 B.C.)

April 10, 2009
ASU, Arizona — God bless!
You could do nothing more, nothing less:
You would lose either way —
be it Yay, be it Nay
but your Nay is the Mark Of Finesse.

“Lack of lifetime achievement”. These words
will be lost in the books for the nerds,
but your stand will remain
as the proof of disdain
for O-Bummer. The rest? For the birds.
We didn't think it was appropriate to make Tyson
an honorary citizen so we dropped the plan.
Many people said (the honorary citizenship) would be inappropriate.
For one thing it will be the first time Tyson has even visited our town.
He has also been involved in too many legal and sporting scandals.
Wang Qiquan
Boswell: Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?
Clouseau: Of course! It means you are one short of the big-time.
Pink Panther (2006)

April 9, 2009
There once was a guy named Barack.
He'll now repair your truck,
mow your lawn, cook your food.
If you are in the mood,
he may do other things... Best of luck!
Real evil is coercive. And an individual does not have
the power to coerce that a government has —
even if dope and machine guns are legalized.
P. J. O'Rourke
The War of the We Against the Me (2002)
In the general course of human nature,
a power over a man's subsistence
amounts to a power over his will.
Alexander Hamilton
The Federalist Papers (1787 – 1788), No.79
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

April 8, 2009
We are led by a socialist fitch,
and he says that we all have to pitch
in destroying our land,
and submit to his band...
What an arrogant son-of-a-b#@ch!
All that the Devil asks is acquiescence...
Not struggle, not conflict. Acquiescence.
Suzanne Massie
Journey (1975)
Londo: Ah, arrogance and stupidity
all in the same package.
How efficient of you.
Babylon 5: In the Beginning (1998)

April 7, 2009
In Caracas, Havana, Beijing
tyrants rule, and there isn't a thing
we'll do to them now
just because we somehow
ended up with Obama The King...
Dictatorship nations are outlaws. Any free nation had
the right to invade Nazi Germany and, today, has the right
to invade Soviet Russia, Cuba, or any other slave pen.
Whether a free nation chooses to do so or not is a matter
of its own self-interest, not of respect for the nonexistent
“rights” of gang rulers. It is not a free nation's duty
to liberate other nations at the price of self-sacrifice,
but a free nation has the right to do it, when and if it so chooses.
Ayn Rand
Collectivized “Rights” (1963)
Calvin: Life's disappointments are harder to take
when you don't know any swear words.
The Indispensable Calvin And Hobbes (1992)

April 6, 2009
Aspirations get higher and higher:
Bamster thinks that he is a Messiah.
So, his plans grow fast
(God forbid, he'll last...):
first, U.S.; then the world is on fire.
Stupidity combined with arrogance
and a huge ego will get you a long way.
Chris Lowe
The Observer (2003)
I have never killed any one,
but I have read some obituary notices
with great satisfaction.
Clarence Darrow
The Story of My Life (1932)

April 5, 2009
Hey, Barack! We must now confess:
you are not any good for U.S.
Go work for E.U.
or U.N. There, you
will be matched to your job, more or less...

You've been dreaming of this, haven't you?
Ruling all of the world — on a cue
from your communist clique...
Just keep watching this flick
as you move to U.N. — or E.U....
The urge to save humanity is almost always
only a false-face for the urge to rule it.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)
After the events of the 20th century,
God, quite reasonably, left Europe.
But He's still here in the United States.
P. J. O'Rourke
Letter to Our European Friends (2008)

April 4, 2009
Hey, Obama! Your visit to France
is a part of a well-known dance:
it has shown so far
where your loyalties are...
not with us — not today, not a chance...

Your regards for the heroes of war
aren't worthy of nothing no more.
Tell your friends in Berlin
who may find it quite mean:
those who do, aren't friends, but a foe.

There's a graveyard in Normandy, which
doesn't need your retarded sales pitch.
They will never collect,
but you should pay respect
to those heroes, you son-of-a-b#@ch!
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
John McCrae
In Flanders Fields (1915)
Anyone who clings to the historically untrue — and thoroughly immoral — doctrine
that “violence never solves anything” I would advise to conjure up the ghosts
of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it.

The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk,
and the Passenger Pigeon.

Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history
than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking
at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it
with their lives and freedoms.
Robert A. Heinlein
Starship Troopers (1959)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

April 3, 2009
Now, O-Bum kissed a Saudi hand.
To interpret this gesture, we stand
to remind you: we saw
this occurrence before,
in the movie... Please, let us expand:

Bamster bowed to Saudi king,
kissed his hand. Now, why do you think
such a gesture was due
if it's not to pursue
the submission, the “family” thing?

Our leader kissed Saudi king.
On the lips? No, the hand (or the ring…)
He'd go for the peach,
but he couldn't have reached
through the robe to get hold of the thing...
Who you gonna believe,
me or your own eyes?
Duck Soup (1933)
For some things, there is no forgiveness. Not ever.
James O'Barr
The Crow (1989-)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

April 2, 2009
An iPod for Her Majesty... Why???
“Made in China” (it was — don't deny)...
Did you do it because
she's not likely, of course,
to obtain one herself at Best Buy?
Such labored nothings, in so strange a style,
Amaze th' unlearned, and make the learned smile.
Alexander Pope
An Essay on Criticism (1709)
It must have taken him a great deal of pains
to become what we now see him.
Such an excess of stupidity, Sir,
is not in Nature.
Samuel Johnson
in The Life of Samuel Johnson
by James Boswell (1791)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

April 1, 2009
We are joking, and Lucifer hears,
and he mills grains of truth into fears.
With Obamian “bliss”,
we're worried that this
stupid joke may well last for four years...
The best way to drive out the devil,
if he will not go for texts of Scripture,
is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.
Martin Luther
in The Table Talk of Martin Luther (1872)
Verbal: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled
was convincing the world he didn't exist.
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

March 31, 2009
Old King Midas had nothing to eat.
He was cursed with a gift, hard to beat:
he turned things into gold...
But Barack beat him cold:
he could turn any gold into s#@t.
Midas, they say, possessed the art of old
Of turning whatsoe'er he touch'd to gold;
This modern statesmen can reverse with ease —
Touch them with gold, they'll turn to what you please.
John Wolcot
in The Cambridge Book of Lesser Poets
by J. C. Squire (1927)
Midas: Alas! Do not torture me so fiercely,
that's simply how it sounded to me!
Phoebus: See then, you shall have ass's ears!
J. S. Bach
Cantata #21 Geschwinde, ihr wirbelnden Winde (1729)

March 30, 2009
Poor Rick Wagoner! Hasn't he bent
all the way from the fall to the Lent?
And he wasn't much worse
than the a#@ (of a horse),
which had brought his career to an end...
We have seen better days.
William Shakespeare
Timon of Athens (1623)
The arrogance of officialdom
should be tempered and controlled,
and assistance to foreign hands
should be curtailed, lest Rome fall.

March 29, 2009
Hey, Obama! Take all of your deals.
Shove them, hard (so you know how it feels)
up the obvious port,
so we know it hurt
just as much as your stimulus bills.
The sower of the seed is surely author
of the whole harvest of mischief.
Orations (1900)
Calvin: In my opinion, we don't devote nearly
enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Calvin and Hobbes (1990)

March 28, 2009
We would love to relieve this great nation
of Obama and Obamination.
We would have him impeached
as a communist leech
sucking money from all of creation.
Ouiser Boudreaux: He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
Steel Magnolias (1989)
You can always trust the Americans.
In the end they will do the right thing,
after they have eliminated all the other possibilities.
Winston Churchill

March 27, 2009
Now, children, your papa and mama
may have lost their jobs. It's a bummer.
God can help you. So, please,
start your prayers like this:
“Dear God! Please take Mr. Obama!”
The production of too many useful things
results in too many useless people.
Karl Marx
Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts (1844)
God seems to have left the receiver off the hook,
and time is running out.
Arthur Koestler
The Ghost in the Machine (1967)

March 26, 2009
Special Service called him “Renegade”.
How prophetic this was? His brigade
is dismantling U.S.
by creating a mess
that the Founding Fathers forbade.
A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious.
But it cannot survive treason from within...
...For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks
in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears
their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness
that lies deep in the hearts of all men.
He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly
and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars
of the city, he infects the body politic
so that it can no longer resist.
A murderer is less to fear.
The traitor is the plague.
Cicero (42 B.C.)
We are threatened with many evils, and treason not least;
but one thing is not said: that we shall suffer from cowardice,
from cravens or the fear of cravens.
J. R. R. Tolkien
The Lord Of The Rings (1949)

March 25, 2009
There once was a King named Barack.
No crown, no subjects to whack,
no throne, no Queen...
just a stupid machine
with a screen full of words, back-to-back...
If we complain about the tune,
there is no reason to attack the monkey
when the organ grinder is present.
Aneurin Bevan (1957)
If you talk to God, you are praying.
If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
Thomas Szasz
The Second Sin (1973)

March 24, 2009
Sixty-some unbelievable days,
and Obama is making his ways,
organizing the hood
just the way that it stood
in Chicago where crime always pays...
Joey Zasa: I earned that territory with my talent.
Godfather: Part III (1990)
Chicago has a strange metaphysical
elegance of death about it.
Claes Oldenburg (1969)

March 23, 2009
We should stop all this vigorous lootin',
but it may cause a major uprootin'...
We shall risk our behind.
We've made up our mind:
take Obama. We want our Putin...
Ivanoff: In Moscow we fought
for an inch of freedom!
Here you take it
and pour s#@t all over it.
Moscow on the Hudson (1984)
When did the future switch
from being a promise to being a threat?
Chuck Palahniuk
Invisible Monsters (1999)

March 22, 2009
Friends and countrymen! Lend us your ear,
but make sure you cover your rear!
Our leader, as is,
is the end of it... Please,
get this idiot outta here...
We're not here to do good.
We're here to do anything
we damn well please —
and take the consequences.
P. J. O'Rourke
The War of the We Against the Me (2002)
Were I like thee, I'd throw away myself.
William Shakespeare
Timon of Athens (1623)

March 21, 2009
Anesthetics and news make us numb.
But sometimes, observations of scum
make us see hidden links
to invisible things —
could Barack be the missing imam???
One by one and man to man, Arabs are the salt of the earth —
generous, hospitable, brave, wise, and so forth.
But get you in a pack and shove a Koran down your pants
and you act like a footlocker full
of glue sniffing civet cats.
P. J. O'Rourke
Holidays in Hell (2000)
It is the strange fate of man,
that even in the greatest of evils
the fear of the worst continues to haunt him.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

March 20, 2009
King Obama got his education
in the top law school of the nation.
Men who paid for his school
must have chosen this fool
for his special road to damnation.
Harvard is the home of American ideas;
there have been several of these,
and somebody has to take the blame for them.
P. J. O'Rourke
Holidays in Hell (2000)
The safest road to Hell is the gradual one —
the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden
turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
C. S. Lewis
The Screwtape Letters (1942)

March 19, 2009
Everybody agrees: we are f#@$ed,
or as we could have said, are “barack”ed.
Barney Frank disagweed,
designating the gweed
as the weason we awen't intact.
If Stupidity got us into this mess,
then why can't it get us out?
Will Rogers
The most serious dangers for American freedom
and the American way of life
do not come from without.
Ludwig von Mises
Economic Freedom and Interventionism (1980)

March 18, 2009
Screw the socialistic approach!
Let's impeach this community coach!
There must be a way
to return to the day
just before we've gotten this roach.
We starve the rats, creosote the ticks,
swat the flies, step on the cockroaches
and poison the scales. Yet when these pests
appear in human form we go paralytic.
Martin H. Fischer
Fischerisms (1944)
There is no safety for honest men, but by believing
all possible evil of evil men, and by acting
with promptitude, decision, and steadiness on that belief.
Edmund Burke
Burke's Works (1864)

March 17, 2009
Castro, Chávez, Obama and Putin
have been planning to do their lootin'
of the countries they led,
just as all of them said
while campaigning, with words highfalutin'...
If you have been voting for politicians who promise
to give you goodies at someone else's expense,
then you have no right to complain when they take your money
and give it to someone else, including themselves.
Thomas Sowell (1992)
The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Robert Burns
To A Mouse (1785)

March 16, 2009
There is now a guy named Barack.
He is busy around the clock
seeking ways he could take
all the money you make,
and distribute it all to his flock.
Robin Hood: We never rob. We just sort of borrow
a bit from those who can afford it.
Little John: Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.
Robin Hood (1973)
The poor spendthrift vagabond says to a rich man:
“I have discovered there is enough money
 in the world for all of us, if it was equally divided;
 this must be done, and we shall all be happy together.”
“But,” was the response, “if everybody was like you,
 it would be spent in two months, and what would you do then?”
“Oh! divide again; keep dividing, of course!”
P. T. Barnum
Art of Money Getting (1880)

March 15, 2009
You have heard of the stimulus bill.
It will surely fail — yes, it will.
All this money will go
to repay for the flow
of the money to buy “people's will”...
Your welfare is my concern.
Do a favour for me, I'll do one in return.
If you'll scratch my back
then I'll scratch your back.
Elvis Presley
Scratch My Back (1966)
Debts and lying are ordinarily joined together.
Francois Rabelais
Gargantua and Pantagruel (c.1532)

March 14, 2009
We are headed straight down to Hell.
Our leader is not doing well.
In this whole money biz,
he behaves like he is
just a patsy — but he can't tell...
He who would do good to another
must do it in Minute Particulars:
general Good is the plea of the scoundrel,
hypocrite, and flatterer.
William Blake
Jerusalem The Emanation of The Giant Albion (c.1821)
What is your substance, whereof are you made,
That millions of strange shadows on you tend?
William Shakespeare
Sonnet LIII (1609)

March 13, 2009
Illinois, known well for corruption,
has produced a corruptoeruption:
one of theirs went up
all the way to the top,
where now he has every option...
The higher a monkey climbs,
the more you see of its behind.
Joseph Stilwell
In many places voting is a right.
In Chicago it's a sport.
Dick Gregory
No More Lies (1993)

March 12, 2009
All politicos look for a buyer.
One of them went (just recently) higher
than he (ever) could climb.
What his buyers bought? Time
just until someone screams: “What a liar!”
Fraud is the ready minister of injustice.
Edmund Burke
Burke's Works (1864)
Foolish men imagine that because judgment
for an evil thing is delayed, there is no justice;
but only accident here below.
Thomas Carlyle
in Pearls of Thought
by Maturin M. Ballou (1882)

March 11, 2009
Here we have New American Pie,
smashed to pieces, inedible, dry...
All this crap has been served,
and O-Bum had the nerve
to suggest that you give it a try...
For one to expect or ask things of others
that he himself, if asked, would not be willing
to do or give, is the worst kind of arrogance.
Anthony Beal
When small men attempt great enterprises,
they always end by reducing them
to the level of their mediocrity.
Napoleon Bonaparte

March 10, 2009
There once was a hag named Pelosi.
All her staff played the ring-around-the-“rosy”:
while her broom was repaired,
all the planes were prepared,
so her flights would be easy and cosy.
But as long as the nation is obsessed
with historic milestones, is no one going
to remark on what a great country it is
where a mentally retarded woman
can become Speaker of the House?
Ann Coulter (2009)
Lisa: Poor little Maggie...
How many mental competency hearings
have you been to, in your short life?
The Simpsons (1989)
This is not a Photoshop magic.This is Nancy Pelosi, wearing a head scarf during her visit to Syria... We dare you to find a similar picture of Margaret Thatcher...
photo: radikal.ru

March 9, 2009
Bamster's speeches are always left-bound,
but his handlers are yet to be found...
Who is pulling his strings?
All invisible kings
of the dollar, the euro, the pound...
Cui bono?
[Latin, “To whose benefit?”]
Lucius Cassius
quoted by Cicero
Blofeld: A terrible catastrophe now confronts you.
However, it can be avoided
by paying a tribute to our organization.
Never Say Never Again (1983)

March 8, 2009
Activism, alarmism, and Marxism
are beyond our harsh criticism.
Don't throw any rocks —
get this ass off his box.
We're not ready for socialism.
Max: This country's still growing up.
Certain diseases, you're better off having
when you're still young.
Once upon a time in America (1984)
Half the world suffering is caused by
earnest messages contained in grand theories
bearing no relation to reality —
Marxism and No-Fault Auto Insurance, to name two.
P. J. O'Rourke
Holidays in Hell (2000)

March 7, 2009
Mr. Brown, please do not respond
to the jerk on our side of the pond.
Opportunities bloom
to replace him, of whom
we ourselves are not really fond...
His mother should have thrown him away
and kept the stork.
Belle of the Nineties (1934)
It is a mistake that there is no bath
that will cure people's manners.
But drowning would help.
Mark Twain
Marienbad, a Health Factory (1891)

March 6, 2009
Bamster, learn: Mr. Brown has come
from Great Britain, you ignorant bum!
DVDs may be good
as a gift in your hood,
but in his, they are really dumb!
The gifts of a bad man
can bring no good with them.
Medea (431 B.C.)
Liberty cannot be preserved,
if the manners of the people are corrupted.
Algernon Sidney
Discourses Concerning Government (1751)

March 5, 2009
Our president speaks of salvation
of all people from their desperation.
He is ready to fight.
In the process, he might
dissipate our wonderful nation.
Talk of imminent threat to our national security
through the application of external force
is pure nonsense. Our threat
is from the insidious forces working from within.
Douglas MacArthur
The cost of living is going up
and the chance of living is going down.
Flip Wilson

March 4, 2009
Hey, Obama! Get ready for this:
we want none of your communist bliss.
China's waiting for you:
you'll give their milieu
the diversity they may have missed.
The more people you kill,
the more revolutionary you are.
Mao Zedong
I was reminded of the words of Chairman Mao:
it's always darkest before it's totally black.
John McCain
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

March 3, 2009
There must be some value in treason.
Otherwise, we do not see the reason
why Barack would insist
that U.S. should exist
only when it resembles a prison.
Otter: Well, you can do whatever you want to us,
but we're not going to sit here and listen
to you badmouth the United States of America.
Animal House (1978)
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
John Harington
Epigrams (1605)

March 2, 2009
Don't try to dissect every drivel.
Don't forget — we are dealing with evil,
of the ultimate kind:
“from within”, “from behind”...
...oops... we cannot be constantly civil...
Take away the right to say f#@k
and you take away the right
to say f#@k the government.
Lenny Bruce
Kang: Holy fleurking schnit!
The Simpsons (1989)

March 1, 2009
There once was a guy named Barack,
He had ears like flaps on a truck.
He did not have them pinned,
so they picked every wind
while his a#@ had to pick all the slack...
...so confused he don't know whether to
scratch his watch or wind his butt...
Steel Magnolias (1989)
Jeff: For Christ's sake, we're f#@kin'
with the President of the United States.
Rudy: He f#@ks with us, doesn't he?
Used Cars (1980)

February 28, 2009
Our leader still thinks he is cool,
and his groupies continue to drool:
“What a wonderful voice!”
Do you hear the noise
that will drown the voice — with the fool?
Ignorance is the mother of admiration.
George Chapman
The Widow's Tears (1612)
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion
that people like you.
Deconstructing Harry (1997)

February 27, 2009
If Obama did all that he said,
spreading plague that he started to spread,
we would live in a camp,
run by Bamster The Champ,
and would wish we were already dead...
...The world is in a bad way, my man,
and bound to be worse before it mends...
...Keep clear of the dupes that talk democracy
and the dogs that talk revolution,
drunk with talk, liars and believers.
I believe in my tusks.
Long live freedom and damn the ideologies...
Robinson Jeffers
The Stars Go Over The Lonely Ocean (1940)
A government big enough to give you everything you want,
is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.
Gerald Ford (1974)

February 26, 2009
We are sure: O-Bum won't need
our help in promoting his lead
to convert every trade
into social aid
which will fail to support and to feed.
Destroy his fib, or sophistry, in vain!
The creature's at his dirty work again.
Alexander Pope
Prologue to the Satires (1735)
The welfare state is not really about the welfare
of the masses. It is about the egos of the elites.
Thomas Sowell
Human Livestock (2006)

February 25, 2009
In America built by O-Bum,
every bird stays in line for the crumb,
every cat gets its mice
substituted by rice,
and they live in a government slum.
...in the next quarter century
the most dramatic change in the Third World
will be the United States becoming a part of it.
P. J. O'Rourke
Holidays in Hell (2000)
And having looked to Government for bread,
on the very first scarcity they will turn
and bite the hand that fed them.
Edmund Burke
Thoughts and Details on Scarcity (1795)

February 24, 2009
Here are Bamster's designs that we dread:
clothes — green, so Islam would be spread,
money — dirtiest black,
food — discolored snack,
and the White House — blindingly Red.
A man's character always takes its hue, more or less,
from the form and color of things about him.
Frederick Douglass
Life and Times of Frederick Douglass (1882)
Every philosophy is tinged with the colouring
of some secret imaginative background,
which never emerges explicitly
into its trains of reasoning.
Alfred North Whitehead
Science and the Modern World (1925)

February 23, 2009
Seven hundred Obamian million
for election, where seventy million
have been properly bought...
Just ten bucks for a vote!
If we paid this, we'd save a gazillion...
All we have of freedom — all we use or know —
This our fathers bought for us, long and long ago.
Rudyard Kipling
The Old Issue (1899)
Pretio parata vincitur pretio fides.
[Latin, “Faith gained by bribes
is overcome by bribes.”]

February 22, 2009
From the start, this malicious affair
with Obama was too much to bear.
Time to stop it — indeed,
all we need is a Lead.
Hey, Republicans! Grow a pair...
There is only one thing that gives me hope
as a Republican, and that is the Democrats.
It's going to be hard to do a worse job
running America than the Republicans have,
but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats.
P. J. O'Rourke
The Problem is Politics (2008)
God gives nuts to the toothless.
Spanish proverb

...and teeth to the nutless.
OBAMAFU editorial comment

February 21, 2009
Little Barry, how scared you are
that the truth will come out and mar
fairy tales that you spun —
they will all come undone!
And we bet: you're thinking this far...
In politics, what begins in fear
usually ends in folly.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
in Coleridge's Table Talk and Omniana (1917)
Marge: It's the Seven Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Bart, are you wearing clean underwear?
Bart: Not anymore.
The Simpsons (1989)

February 20, 2009
Bamster cannot be — ever! — at fault
(very common for this kind of dolt):
when he fails, he forgets,
he regrets, and he lets
all his press bring his fall to a halt.
My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not
go to the New York Times Building.
Ann Coulter (2002)
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure
until he begins to blame somebody else.
John Burroughs

February 19, 2009
Bamster made us much cleaner — by making
all his crooks, who were patiently faking
their love for U.S.,
to divulge and confess
their yearning for stealing and breaking.
God employs several translators;
some pieces are translated by age,
some by sickness, some by war, some by justice.
John Donne
Devotions (1624)
And whoever begins by being a dupe
ends by becoming a scoundrel.

February 18, 2009
Listen, Bamster! We want our cars!
Shove your plans, and your pals, and your czars,
and your dogs, and your swine,
where the sun does not shine —
deep enough so you see all the stars...
Bruno: How far can you put that
up the poopenschafte
before it's dangerous?
Bruno (2009)
I've upped my standard, now up yours.
Pat Paulsen (1968)

February 17, 2009
Learn your civics. You have to protect
your Republic and Flag. The respect
they command can be lost —
then your future is toast.
That's the cause. Bamster is the effect.
No one can terrorize a whole nation,
unless we are all his accomplices.
Edward R. Murrow (1954)
Every citizen of the republic ought
to consider himself an unofficial policeman,
and keep unsalaried watch and ward over
the laws and their execution.
Mark Twain
Traveling with a Reformer (1893)

February 16, 2009
Teleprompter? For President's pitch?
Feeling this curiosity itch:
led we never had been
by a reading machine —
how did we end up with this b#@ch?
Causa latet: vis est notissima.
[Latin, “The cause is hidden, but the result is known.”]
Metamorphoses (8 A.D.)
Crime is a fact of the human species,
a fact of that species alone, but it is above
all the secret aspect, impenetrable and hidden.
Crime hides, and by far the most terrifying things
are those which elude us.
George Bataille
The Trial of Gilles de Rais (1965)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

February 15, 2009
Every present and past commissar,
like Obama, was envying Czar.
Envy! This is what rules
meager minds of these fools
'cause their tools aren't up to the par...
...a man who is suffering
from delusions of adequacy.
Walter Kerr
Pieces at Eight (1957)
For something in the envy of the small
Still loves the vast Democracy of Death!
Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton
The Bones Of Raphael (1853)

St. Valentine's Day · February 14, 2009
Very close to Capitol Hill,
our president is standing still,
contemplating the time,
when — and this is sublime! —
Little Monica blew Uncle Bill...

Why we think that this time was sublime?
This is obvious: it was the time,
when our president did
this unfortunate kid,
while our country was next one in line...
You live in a country that makes it harder
to raise children than any country in the world.
You vote for me and I'll give you family values.
Bill Clinton (1992)
America is not a clan or a pedigree.
America is a duly constituted association of free people.
We're not married to each other.
We're not even dating, as we should have learned
from our former president who thought he was
the whole country's boyfriend.
P. J. O'Rourke
Wartime and Family Time (2001)

February 13, 2009
All Progressives, united for change!
Stop and think. It's the time to arrange
your surrender in kind
(and if we may remind,
you may get back your brain, in exchange).
Many an honest man practises upon himself
an amount of deceit sufficient, if practised
upon another, and in a little different way,
to send him to the State's prison.
Christian Nestell Bovee
Intuitions and Summaries of Thought (1862)
A word to the wise ain't necessary —
it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.
Bill Cosby

Lincoln's Birthday · February 12, 2009
“I do NOT wish to call on Creator
to confirm who was smaller or greater.
Count those roaming free
just because they have me!
This is now — more roaming comes later!”
I cannot swallow whole the view of Lincoln
as the Great Emancipator.
Barack Obama (2005)
Perhaps no man is happy
without a delusion of some kind.
Christian Nestell Bovee
Intuitions and Summaries of Thought (1862)

February 11, 2009
do not see what we see, and we see
way too much of O-Bum.
We would settle for some
other men, both A.D. and B.C.
Self-laudation abounds among the unpolished;
but nothing can stamp a man more sharply as ill-bred.
Charles Buxton
Notes of Thought (1873)
To listen to the wicked
is a commencement of wickedness.

February 10, 2009
“Dear Lord, please make Bamster to give
me all things that I needed, to live
like he told me I will —
I believed it, until
our neighbor has called me “naive” !”
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
Janice Joplin
Mercedes Benz (1970)
Only idiots and infants “need” things.
Adults “want” things.
The language of needs is the native tongue of socialists,
therapeutists, and paternalists of all sorts
and is addressed to needy dependents.
The language of wants is spoken by self-respecting adults
and is addressed to other self-respecting adults.
Thomas Szasz
The Second Sin (1973)

February 9, 2009
World, ideal for us (we're tired):
no news, whether printed or wired,
no Dems, and of course,
no worries, because
BHO would already be fired.
Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind
and nourish with repetition and emotion
will one day become a reality.
Earl Nightingale
Though patience be a tired mare,
yet she will plod.
William Shakespeare
Henry V (1599)

February 8, 2009
There once was a king, King O-Bum.
In his youth, as the Lord of the Slum,
he was learning his ways
to the ultimate craze —
to The Communist Heaven For Some.
Man, proud man,
Dressed in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he's most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As make the angels weep...
William Shakespeare
Measure for Measure (1604)
When rationalism destroyed heaven
and decided to set it up here on earth,
that most terrible of all goals entered human ambition.
It was clear there'd be no end
to what people would be made to suffer for it.
Nadine Gordimer
Burger's Daughter (1979)

February 7, 2009
Here: Obamian, Obamythology,
Obamistical, Obamapology.
How many new terms
we've coined! This confirms
the necessity for Obamology.
There is no use indicting words,
they are no shoddier than what they peddle.
Samuel Beckett
Malone Dies (1958)
Such things may be imagined,
but words have no power to impress the mind
without the exquisite horror of their reality.
Edgar Allan Poe
The Narrative of A. Gordon Pym of Nantucket (1838)

February 6, 2009
We do not take vacations or trips,
staying busy deciphering tips
that we get from Barack.
We are losing the track
of his Obamaistical scripts.
We're going to sell you a room
full of horse s#@t. And with that much horse s#@t,
you just know there's a pony in there somewhere.
P. J. O'Rourke
We Blew It (2008)
Lisa: Cheer up, Dad. Did you know the Chinese
use the same word for “crisis” as they do for “opportunity”?
Homer: Yes. Crisitunity.
The Simpsons (1989)

February 5, 2009
There once was a man named Barack,
full of pride for his colorful flock,
but by now, we know
whom he carried in tow,
and we know: his minions suck.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep
that their interests and his own are the same.
One man's wickedness may easily
become all men's curse.
Maxim 463

February 4, 2009
King Obama, The Czar of the Czars...
Smaller cars, fewer guns… And cigars
will be taxed by the size...
Did we miss the disguise
which O-Bum wore flying from Mars?
When the going gets weird,
the weird turn pro.
Hunter S. Thompson
Kingdom of Fear (2003)
Nobody was really surprised when it happened,
not really, not at the subconscious level
where savage things grow.
Stephen King
Carrie (1974)

February 3, 2009
Fellow citizens! This must've been
quite a hard one, and right on the chin...
Don't you think it's the time
to deter further crime
and protect our innocent kin?
You can do anything in this world
if you are prepared to take the consequences.
W. Somerset Maugham
The Circle: A Comedy in Three Acts (1921)
Self-defense is the clearest of all laws,
and for this reason — the lawyers did not make it.
Douglas Jerrold
in Bon-mots of Charles Lamb
and Douglas Jerrold

by Walter Jerrold (1893)

February 2, 2009
King Obama did not like his mama,
and his mama did not like Obama,
so she ran from this child,
who was very much riled
and grew up under stress of this drama.
A little curly-headed, good-for-nothing,
And mischief-making monkey from his birth.
Lord Byron
Don Juan (1819)
Eric: C'mon, Kyle.
Just because your mom is a b#@ch
doesn't mean that we all have to suffer.
South Park (1997)

February 1, 2009
Our country is now for sale.
He bailed out all things he could bail,
driving all to be poor,
angry, sad, insecure...
Hey, Obama! We want you to fail!
Government is a broker in pillage.
H. L. Mencken
On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe (1956)
Night was running ahead of itself.
Jorge Amado
Sea of Death (1936)

January 31, 2009
Muses rested today. They are tired.
They've told us that they've acquired
a distaste for O-Bum
(they are keeping it mum,
but they hope that he soon will be fired).
The feelings of childhood, which taught thee to soar,
Are wafted far distant on Apathy's wing.
Lord Byron
Farewell to the Muse (1807)
It's a little like wrestling a gorilla.
You don't quit when you're tired —
you quit when the gorilla is tired.
Robert Strauss
The Winner Within
by Pat Riley (1993)

January 30, 2009
FDR has been right at the top
of his trouble and he couldn't stop
the Depression. The War
saved his a#@ and his score.
Yes — you got World War III, coming up...
Nothing is more insolent or provocative
or more apt to lead to a breach of the peace
than undefended riches among armed men.
Douglas MacArthur
in MacArthur: Man of Action
by Frank Kelley (1950)
I do not know how the Third World War
will be fought, but I can tell you
what they will use in the Fourth — rocks!
Albert Einstein

January 29, 2009
King Barack had the flappiest ears,
which were never discussed by his peers,
but were used as his sails
for the winds of his tales
(yes, we know: this brings him to tears...).
His ears stuck out to the sides of his head
as if he were straining to listen
to every little sound.
Terry Goodkind
Naked Empire (2003)
Timothy Q. Mouse: Your ears!
Just look at 'em, Dumbo!
Why, they're poifect wings!
The very things that held ya down
are gonna carry ya up, and up, and up!
Dumbo (1941)

January 28, 2009
There once was Ahmadinejad,
rabid, stupid, a jerk, and Jihad
was his only concern.
Then he painfully learned
that Obama is almost as bad...
If there is a God, the phrase that must
disgust him is — holy war.
Steve Allen
Presidential campaign slogans:
Ahmadinejad, 2005: “It's possible and we can do it”.
Bamster, 2008: “Yes, we can”.

January 27, 2009
Try to think outside of the box:
Messrs. Mouthfoot, Nostrils, and Bucks,
Messrs. Queen and Dead-Brain,
and the top of this chain,
Mr. Ears and Mrs. Botox.
It's a match made in heaven... by a retarded angel.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
When angry count a hundred;
when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar (1894)

January 26, 2009
Just a week — look at where we are.
But there are no surprises thus far:
Bamioso will prey
on executive pay,
cutting more every day — from afar.
When it comes to the future,
there are three kinds of people:
those who let it happen,
those who make it happen,
and those who wonder what happened.
John M. Richardson, Jr.
Those politicians, professors and union bosses
who curse big business
are fighting for a lower standard of living.
Ludwig von Mises
Theory and History (1957)

January 25, 2009
Bamster visited all fifty seven
(must have!...) states, where visions of Heaven
all pertain to Jihad,
not U.S. Thank you, God,
for M1 and M1911!
Man's great misfortune is that he has no organ,
no kind of eyelid or brake, to mask or block a thought,
or all thought, when he wants to.
Paul Valéry
There is wickedness in the intention of wickedness,
even though it be not perpetrated in the act.
in A Dictionary of Thoughts
by Tryon Edwards

January 24, 2009
For a second, imagine a day
with O-Bum far, faR, fAR, FAR away.
Then imagine — it's true!
This will carry you through
to the future he strives to delay.
Swallow a toad in the morning
and you will encounter nothing more
disgusting the rest of the day.
M. de Lassay, quoted by
Nicolas de Chamfort
in Chamfort: A Biography
by Claude Arnaud (1988)
The future will be better tomorrow.
Dan Quayle

January 23, 2009
How bad can a president get?
We don't know... but we'd make a bet
that the one we have gotten
has been fairly rotten —
he's the worst that we ever have met...
Asinus asinorum in saecula saeculorum!
[Latin, “The Jackass of Jackasses in the Century of Centuries”]
Idea for story:
A man awakens to find his parrot
has been made Secretary of Agriculture.
Woody Allen
Without Feathers (1975)

January 22, 2009
When this circus has come to our town,
it did not earn much more than a frown —
actors weren't too deft...
While the circus has left,
we got stuck with Obama The Clown...
Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies.
And it's no longer the sideshow, it's the whole show.
The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants,
for all intents and purposes, are gone,
and we're dealing only with the freaks.
Jonathan Winters
Just 'cause you got the monkey off your back
doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin

January 21, 2009
We have sinned, and the Heavens have struck
with a plague by the name of Barack.
Now, Mr. Barack
has arrived. We are stuck
'cause it's us he is planning to f#@k.
I have a new philosophy.
I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Charles Schulz
Hobbes: I had resolved
to be less offended by human nature,
but I think I blew it already.
Calvin and Hobbes (1988)

January 20, 2009
All who lived through this inauguration,
felt a measure of valid frustration:
some because they were f#@$ed,
some because they were mocked,
some because they detest obfuscation.
But then the Roman Empire fell
like this: “oh, s#@t...”.
And we went into what the historians called
the Stupid F#@$er period.
Eddie Izzard
Circle (2002)
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it
to gnaw through the leather straps.
Emo Phillips
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

January 19, 2009
When O-Bum and his Reverend “spin”,
it looks quite like a homemade sin:
everybody fakes theirs,
emulating the airs,
while suppressing a knowing grin...
Even to the vulgarity of inanimate things
it requires some time to get accustomed;
but living, breathing, bustling, plotting, planning,
human vulgarity is a species of moral ipecacuanha,
enough to destroy any comfort.
Thomas Carlyle
On Being Poor
in The Gentle Life
by James Hain Friswell (1866)
Show me a liar, and I'll show thee a thief.
George Herbert
Jacula Prudentium (1651)
The Works of George Herbert (1862)

January 18, 2009
Our leader is planning ahead.
He does not want us all to be dead.
He's just cornering those
who would fight for the cause —
those who'd rather be dead than be Red...
Michael Corleone: I don't feel I have to
wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies.
Godfather: Part II (1974)
The ultimate basis of an all around
bureaucratic system is violence.
Ludwig von Mises
Bureaucracy (1944)

January 17, 2009
We have no time left for discussions
with Chinese, North Koreans, and Russians...
Add Iran and Iraq —
looks like Barry is stuck,
facing very direct repercussions.
Then does men's life become one vast disease
When once they seek their ills by ills to cure.
Fragments, 98
There comes a time in the affairs of man
when he must take the bull by the tail
and face the situation.
W. C. Fields

January 16, 2009
There once was a girl named Michelle,
(not your typical Southern belle).
All observers concur:
this one carried her
Marxist heart in an apposite shell.
Rita: I'd like to make her look
a little more attractive.
How far can you pull back?
Cameraman: How do you feel about Cleveland?
Tootsie (1982)
I do not know that she was virtuous;
but she was always ugly,
and with a woman, that is half the battle.
Heinrich Heine
Scintillations (1873)

January 15, 2009
For Barack the relentless left-winger
we are practicing flipping the finger
in a proper salute
to his rotten repute,
which came first and continues to linger.
After the events of the 20th century —
national socialism, international socialism,
inter-species socialism from Earth First
anyone who is still on the left is obviously insane
and not responsible for his or her actions.
P. J. O'Rourke
We Blew It (2008)
So let him stand, through ages yet unborn,
Fix'd statue on the pedestal of Scorn.
Lord Byron
Curse of Minerva (1811)

January 14, 2009
“Mom? Are any of things that I hear
true at all? If they are, should I fear
our government?” “No!
All we have we shall owe!
You shall live in Obammunism, dear!”
Another life, if it were not better than this,
would be less a promise than a threat.
Jean-Antoine Petit-Senn
in Pearls of Thought
by Maturin M. Ballou (1882)
God will not suffer man to have the knowledge
of things to come; for if he had prescience of his prosperity,
he would be careless; and understanding of his adversity,
he would be senseless.
St. Aurelius Augustine
in Prose quotations
from Socrates to Macaulay

by Samuel Austin Allibone (1876)

January 13, 2009
Hey, Obama! You won? No. You lied.
Time has not crossed the bridge to your side.
Time can see from afar,
so it knows: you are
human misery, exemplified.
But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
“O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.”
W. H. Auden
As I Walked Out One Evening (1937)
Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie”
until you can find a rock.
Wynn Catlin
in The Laugh's on Me
by Bennett Cerf (1959)

January 12, 2009
Bum keeps talking of slicing and splicing,
Bum keeps talking of us sacrificing
something else — every day.
Does he think we'll pay
for the ride that he finds so enticing?
The tenth commandment sends a message
to collectivists, to people who believe
wealth is best obtained by redistribution.
And the message is clear and concise: Go to hell.
P. J. O'Rourke
Closing the Wealth Gap (1997)
The kind of man who wants the government to adopt
and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man
whose ideas are idiotic.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)

January 11, 2009
Dear Chairman Obamioso!
Your Obaminess is grandioso.
TeleBum! TeleBoom!
Telethon is in bloom!
Is it permanent? Just curioso.
...Who knows himself a braggart,
Let him fear this; for it will come to pass
That every braggart shall be found an ass.
William Shakespeare
All's Well That Ends Well (1623)
What kills the skunk
is the publicity it gives itself.
Abraham Lincoln
Speech in Columbus, Ohio (1859)

January 10, 2009
Che Guevara, Alinsky and Marx
(three deceivers, one bum, and two sharks)
were content to find out
that O-Bum is about
halfway through with his indigent “sparks”.
From a spark a fire will flare up.
The official slogan of the first
Lenin's newspaper Iskra (Spark)
December 1, 1900
It may be true, as Lincoln supposed,
that “you can't fool all the people all the time,”
but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.
Will Durant
The Lessons of History (1968)

January 9, 2009
He was lobbed to his job by the mob.
He has not even started the job,
but we already heard
(at the edge of his herd)
that two terms are too short for this snob.
The true definition of a snob
is one who craves for what separates men
rather than for what unites them.
John Buchan
Pilgrim's Way: An Essay in Recollection (1940)
No person shall be elected to the office of the President
more than twice
, and no person
who has held the office of President, or acted as President,
for more than two years of a term to which some other person
was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President
more than once.
The Constitution of the United States
Amendment XXII, Section 1
(February 27, 1951)

January 8, 2009
We do not like this man named Barack,
his intentions, his goals, or his flock.
One big f#@$ing mistake
that was made by this fake:
he assumed we'll be staying in shock.
The fraud being once established,
could not afterwards be explained;
for it is with pious fraud as with a bad action;
it begets a calamitous necessity of going on.
Thomas Paine
The Age of Reason (1794)
Harry Street: That's one thing about success —
even when it's a failure. It snowballs for a while.
There's also one thing about a snowball —
it has nowhere to go but downhill.
The Snows of Kilimanjaro (1952)

January 7, 2009
Kenya has been like Mecca for hunters —
every game... but there are few Black Panthers.
Maybe, we should deport
all we have of this sort,
booking shipments along with the gun tours...
You can't teach a hunter it's wrong to kill.
Hari Dass Baba
There is no hunting like the hunting of man,
and those who have hunted armed men long enough
and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
Ernest Hemingway
On The Blue Water: A Gulf Stream Letter (1936)
facts · old facts · update

January 6, 2009
We have heard, Disney quickly recalled
all the copies, and plans are on hold
for the “Dumbo” release.
They're trying to ease
the suspicion they used Bamster's mold.
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Children's song
Timothy Q. Mouse: All we gotta do
is build an act. Make ya a star.
Dumbo (1941)

January 5, 2009
Every night, right before dream-o-rama,
you (and others) may think of Obama,
promptly losing your sleep.
Just in case, our tip:
think of life past the end of this drama...
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask,
“Where have I gone wrong?”
Then a voice says to me,
“This is going to take more than one night.”
Charles M. Schulz
Take therefore no thought for the morrow:
for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34 (KJV)

January 4, 2009
You should know the guy named Barack,
not a nerd, not a geek, not a jock,
who has gone to the top
on the wings of the mob,
which has staged an amazing comeback...
Roth: What I am saying is,
we have now what we have always needed,
real partnership with the government.
Godfather: Part II (1974)
The scum that rises upmost,
when the nation boils.
John Dryden
Don Sebastian (1690)
facts · old facts · update

January 3, 2009
There once was a girl named Michelle.
When we saw her, we didn't feel well
contemplating her prance,
which we felt, at a glance,
had a touch of a Harpy from Hell.
Success will popularize
the grossest vulgarity.
Alfred Bougeart
Awkward, embarrassed, stiff, without the skill
Of moving gracefully or standing still,
One leg, as if suspicious of his brother,
Desirous seems to run away from t'other.
Charles Churchill
The Rosciad (1891)

January 2, 2009
In Jerusalem, there is The Wall.
That's the place for all wishes — from all.
We had asked for a roll
to be stuck in the hole
with the names that He needs to recall.
If any thing can legalize revenge,
it should be injury from an extremely obliged person;
but revenge is so absolutely the peculiar of Heaven
that no consideration can impower,
even the best men, to assume the execution of it.
Robert South
in A Dictionary of the English Language
by Samuel Johnson (1805)
Lord, Lord, Lord.
Protect me from the consequences
of the above prayer.
Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless (1992)

New Year · January 1, 2009
We were told that the winter of our
discontent that is brewing so sour
will be made into glorious
summer by the notorious
Sun of Kenya — if we would cower...
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York...
William Shakespeare
Richard III (1591)
The lion and the calf shall lie down together
but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
Without Feathers (1975)

December 31, 2008
We're worried. The coming O-Bum
wants a chaos. In it, will be some
unexpected controls.
Foreseeing his goals,
how Big will this Brother become?
There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother.
George Orwell
Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949)
If a man is not rising upward to be an angel,
depend upon it, he is sinking downwards to be a devil.
He cannot stop at the beast.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
in Coleridge's Table Talk and Omniana (1917)

December 30, 2008
If they saw how Bamster is awed,
and they knew the extent of this fraud,
Lenin would've gone wild,
Karl Marx would've smiled
(Friedrich Engels would simply applaud).
Socialism is a fraud, a comedy,
a phantom, a blackmail.
Benito Mussolini
I'm anxious to find out
where insanity ends and evil begins.
Shadows and Fog (1991)

December 29, 2008
Emblem, new, for U.S. Delegation
to U.N.: first, a map of the nation,
done in Black and in Green,
then some Red in between,
and two Ears in flying formation.
Artists can color the sky red
because they know it's blue.
Those of us who aren't artists
must color things the way they really are
or people might think we're stupid.
Jules Feiffer
Crawling Arnold (1963)
Such things make no impression upon me;
I simply wag my great, long, furry ears.
E. C. Bentley

December 28, 2008
Those that curse us, expected a blessing,
and they found it rather depressing
that we were quite adverse
to the meaning of verse
Luke (in 6:28) is addressing.
Bless those who curse you,
and pray for those who spitefully use you.
Luke 6:28 (KJV)
Souls made of Fire, and Children of the Sun,
With whom Revenge is virtue.
Edward Young
The Revenge (1721)

December 27, 2008
A design for the President's Seal:
first, a t#@d, dry, to mark the New Deal,
then a fresh one, for Bum
(tinted green for Islam),
and a slippery yellow peel.
A t#@d for you!
You do not deserve so much good,
nor so much honour.
Francois Rabelais
Gargantua and Pantagruel (c.1532)
Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit.
[Latin, “Perhaps the remembrance of these things
will prove a source of future pleasure.”]
The Aeneid (29 – 19 B.C.)

December 26, 2008
For Obamo-Americans there:
your Messiah will be off the air
from eleven to five.
Don't panic — survive.
Hold his picture and tell him you care.
Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic be
alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung
Memories, Dreams, Reflections (1963)
Each time you play helpless you create
a dependency — you play a dependency game.
In other words, we make ourselves slaves.
Especially if this dependency is
a dependency of our self-esteem.
Fritz Perls
Gestalt Therapy Verbatim (1972)

Christmas Day · December 25, 2008
This is Christmas. No politics. None.
We could rhyme a few words just for fun,
just to have a good time
with a difficult rhyme,
just to see how this could be done.

We could start with the word “Titicaca”.
It would rhyme with “Molucca” and “Yucca”.
But we'd fail to complete
this remarkable feat...
'cause the word we'd need is “macaca”.
(and we remember what happened to Mr. Allen...)
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
Robert Frost
Collected Poems (1939)
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
just like the ones I used to know...
Irving Berlin
White Christmas (1940)
Copyright © 2009 obamafu.com

December 24, 2008
Winds of “change” whistling hard in our ear,
all we hear, “Obama is near”.
No Kwanzaa for us,
just old customs, and thus,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Too much rest causes atrophy.
Horace Fletcher
Optimism, A Real Remedy (1908)
Every evening I turn my worries over to God.
He's going to be up all night anyway.
Mary C. Crowley

December 23, 2008
Flying up to the uppermost cloud,
Lord Obama is spoken about:
“He's Movin' On Up!”
We'll wait for his flop,
looking forward to his Movin' Out.
Well, we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.
The Jeffersons (1975)
When I hear a man applauded by the mob,
I always feel a pang of pity for him.
All he has to do to be hissed
is to live long enough.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)

December 22, 2008
Urgent message, from Hell to The Chair:
“All your comrades think this is unfair.
We were told Hell will freeze
when U.S. on its knees
will be yours to dismantle and tear.

It is hot. We all think “going cold”
is a promise that's getting too old.
Get your a#@ down here,
on the double, you hear?
We are voting to have you recalled!”
The first duty of a revolutionary
is to get away with it.
Abbie Hoffman
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton, and me.
They wrote about hell and never saw the place.
I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over
for years and years.
Carl Sandburg

Winter Solstice · Stalin' birthday · December 21, 2008
Sharing time with his comrade — his spouse —
he recalls all the communist vows
that he took as a boy,
and he plans to enjoy
Stalin's Birthday in Barry's White House.
Those who cast the votes decide nothing.
Those who count the votes decide everything.
Joseph Stalin
Dieter: America is now part
of the history of Communism.
Amerika (1987)

December 20, 2008
Fortune tellers! This time of the year,
when the solstice is getting so near,
could you please tell us all
if the night which will fall
is as long and as dark as we fear?
How long the night seems
to one kept awake by pain.
Bernard-Joseph Saurin
Blanche et Guiscard (1763)
The dream is short — repentance long.
Friedrich Schiller
Lied von der Glocke (1799)

December 19, 2008
Blah, blah, blah. That's Obamian call
to proceed. He is trying to stall
'cause he has no clue
what to do, when it's due,
and he has no solutions, at all.
The motive of success is not enough.
Alfred North Whitehead
Adventures of Ideas (1933)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board
who knows how to fly a plane?
Airplane! (1980)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

December 18, 2008
Bummer tries (and he cries as he tries)
to create “All-American” lies.
He is aided and helped
by the brood that he whelped,
but this brood stocks imported supplies.
A man who thinks of himself as belonging
to a particular national group in America
has not yet become an American, and the man
who goes among you to trade upon your nationality
is no worthy son to live under the Stars and Stripes.
Woodrow T. Wilson (1915)
Falsehood is invariably the child of fear
in one form or another.
Aleister Crowley
The Confessions of Aleister Crowley (1929)

December 17, 2008
There once was one Barry, a boy,
who grew up to annoy and destroy.
Early on, it appears,
someone said: “Flap your ears!
That'll do. You do not need a toy.”

This was part of a communist ploy.
Barry wanted few things to enjoy.
Someone said: “Beat the rich.
That's the ultimate niche
for all those who do not have the toy.”

Barry learned many ways to deploy
one's resolve to acquire the toy:
fear, fraud and deceit,
mixed together, or neat —
and grew up to annoy and destroy.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw
that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers
There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may
be firmly planted in the human head
if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five,
by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Parerga und Paralipomena (1851)

December 16, 2008
Two big Ears. Electoral dice.
Overpaid (confidential) price.
How would we name this
quick ascent from abyss?
Bum's Earlift” would be very precise.
If one person tell thee that thou hast ass's ears,
take no notice; should two tell thee so,
procure a saddle for thyself.
Ancient Jewish Proverbs
by Abraham Cohen (1911)
You know if you pick 'em up by their ears
it doesn't hurt 'em as much.
Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

December 15, 2008
Bum has seen flying shoes in the news.
You can send us all kinds of big shoes.
We'll give them away
to the children, OK?
Not to wear — to practice the use.
If one shoots at a king, one must not miss.
Sidney Hook
The Hero in History (1991)
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
Rabindranath Tagore
Stray Birds (1916)

December 14, 2008
If you listen to Larry Sinclair,
you'd know: his Bummer's affair
was a Limo-Lewinsky.
What would say Saul Alinsky?
“Rule 11. And do it with flair.”
Rule 11:
If you push a negative hard and deep enough,
it will break through into its counterside.
Saul Alinsky
Rules For Radicals (1971)
Bisexual, adj.
A politically correct way to say you f#@k anything.
Overheard on the Net

December 13, 2008
Oh, rebellious Pinkos! Your hue
seems to make you an object to screw...
No, you aren't the Red,
though, the Red made your bed...
Pity rebels without a clue.
So much of left-wing thought is a kind of
playing with fire by people
who don't even know that fire is hot.
George Orwell
Inside the Whale (1940)
...and some of these college professors
are just about as bad, the whole kit and bilin' of 'em
are nothing in God's world but socialism in disguise!
Sinclair Lewis
Main Street (1920)

December 12, 2008
How much will Obama be paid
(with all deals he has managed and made)?
We would think all his pay
should be taken away —
it is plainly exceeding his grade.
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
Laurence J. Peter
“...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.”
“What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.”
“Employers sense in me a denial of their values.”
John Kennedy Toole
Confederacy of Dunces (1980)

December 11, 2008
Windy City provided the wind.
Spreading Ears, Bum flew. Being pinned,
these appendages would
keep him back in the hood
to continue to worship The Fiend.
“Hail, holy Ass!” the quiring angels sing;
“Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!
Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!”
G.J. (Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.)
Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
...characterized by an uncommon spread of ear,
which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight...
Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

December 10, 2008
We've got a corrupt politician
on his way to his ultimate mission:
to dismantle defenses
for all future offenses
of his gang — under any condition.
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation,
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'Rourke
Parliament of Whores (1991)
Evil minds change good to their own nature.
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Prometheus Unbound (1820)

December 9, 2008
Our country's electoral trance
has been caused by the Bummer's romance,
and when Bummer will fail,
all his b#@ches will wail:
“He was simply not given a chance!”
He that is good for making excuses
is seldom good for anything else.
Benjamin Franklin
Communism to me is one-third practice
and two-thirds explanation.
Will Rogers

December 8, 2008
You just wait. All the wealth of this nation
will be nationalized by taxation.
To accomplish this deed,
Bum will deftly proceed
using Putin as his inspiration.
Socialist governments traditionally do make a financial mess.
They always run out of other people's money.
Margaret Thatcher (1976)
We hope that, when the insects take over the world,
they will remember with gratitude
how we took them along on all our picnics.
Bill Vaughn

December 7, 2008
Seeking ways for Obama to sink,
we keep seeing the link, Red and Pink.
So, we are on the brink
of a horrible stink.
Just the place for a Boojum, we think.
But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day,
If your Snark be a Boojum! For then
You will softly and suddenly vanish away,
And never be met with again!
Lewis Carroll
The Hunting of the Snark (1874)
If a convert to Communism could be persuaded
that he was a citizen of the world, it of course
would be much easier to make him
a traitor to his own country.
Joseph R. McCarthy (1954)

December 6, 2008
“Honeymoon: Love Forever”. “Divorce”
isn't part of this mindset, of course.
“Being f#@$ed by Barack
isn't yet a bad luck —
it's too early for “buyer's remorse”.
Having been f#@$ed is no excuse
for being f#@$ed up.
Kimya Dawson
My Heroes (2004)
“Luck” is taking probability personally.
Chip Denman (1998)

December 5, 2008
This is what the O-Bummer's Right Ear
told the left one: “Recession, I hear?”
And the Left Ear said
(to the Right, through the head):
“You are deaf — The Depression, my dear!”
The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment,
was produced by government mismanagement rather than
by any inherent instability of the private economy.
Milton Friedman
Capitalism and Freedom (1962)
Cutting off mule's ears doesn't make it a horse.
Creole proverb
in Gombo Zhebes
by Lafcadio Hearn (1885)

December 4, 2008
No, Obama is not from Nantucket.
His is short and no way he could suck it.
But we heard that the mob
got a cheap b#@$&%b —
and it did put some change in his pocket.
...and commit
The oldest sins the newest kind of ways?
William Shakespeare
Henry IV (1597)
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless
to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless
it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover

December 3, 2008
There once was a blast in BHOpal.
Retributions helped their morale.
But with our blast,
came the ghoul with the past:
BHO, Ayers' pupil and pal.
I don't regret setting bombs.
I feel we didn't do enough.
Bill Ayers
New York Times, September 11, 2001
Boy, what a world...
it could be so wonderful,
if it wasn't for certain people.
Radio Days (1987)

December 2, 2008
Saul Alinsky is, properly, dead.
Hell is frozen. The Devil has fled.
The community drive
now wants to revive
plans to get Pearly Gates painted Red.
Socialism will only work in heaven
where they don't want it, or in hell,
where they've got it already.
Cecil Palmer
The British Socialist Ill-Fare State (1952)
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting
if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around
the pearly gates convinced that succubi own
all the liquor stores in heaven.
P. J. O'Rourke
Parliament of Whores (1991)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

December 1, 2008
If you haven't drunk any Kool-Aid,
future won't arrive ready-made
when Obamian crap
will start coming, on tap,
stinky, sticky, and over-pre-paid...
Tomorrow's illiterate will not be the man
who cannot read; he will be the man
who has not learned how to learn.
Herbert Gerjuoy
in Future Shock
by Alvin Toffler (1970)
You can't talk of the dangers of snake poisoning
and not mention snakes.
C. Everett Koop

November 30, 2008
At the end of this blasted November
full of things that you have to remember
for the next time you vote,
please remember to note
that ACORN is the beast to dismember.
The first step in community organization
is community disorganization.
Saul Alinsky
Rules For Radicals (1971)
A general loathing of a gang or sect
usually has some sound basis in instinct.
Ezra Pound (1936)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 29, 2008
Contemplating both virtue and vice,
think of this (it will fully suffice):
would you mark your connection
to the recent election
by a toast, or a goat sacrifice???
Where but in Kenya can a man
whose grandfather was a cannibal
watch a really good game of polo?
Marina Sulzberger
Letters (1978)
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Stanislaw J. Lec
Unkempt Thoughts (1957)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 28, 2008
Sing, Fat Lady! C'mon, you Big Mama!
Someone has to wrap up all this drama
of the Fraud from Abroad!
No, we wouldn't applaud
we're tired of Mr. Obama.
You can't bluff someone
who's not paying attention.
House of Games (1987)
Boredom is rage spread thin.
Paul Tillich

Thanksgiving Day · November 27, 2008
On Thanksgiving, with bad expectations,
we shall pray for all people of nations
with no freedom for all.
They'll suffer the call
to submit to the Marxist temptations.
Underlying most arguments against the free market
is a lack of belief in freedom itself.
Milton Friedman
Capitalism and Freedom (1962)
When it becomes dominated by a collectivist creed,
democracy will inevitably destroy itself.
Friedrich Hayek
The Road To Serfdom (1944)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 26, 2008
Enter Holiday Season with Hope —
not the one that was claimed by The Dope
who has peddled the Change
you'd get in exchange
for the knot at the end of your rope.
When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
That wasn't any act of God.
That was an act of pure human f#@$ery.
Stephen King
The Stand (1978)

November 25, 2008
In Somali, they got it all wrong.
They can have what they want — for a song:
just export to U.S.
one of yours to profess
what you like. He'll drag you along.
Mulder: I see the correlation, but just because
I work for the federal government
doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches.
The X Files: War of the Coprophages (1996)
These days even the devil is getting overturned
and held up to the light like a glass of water.
Anne Sexton
Cockroach (1974)

November 24, 2008
We've heard: “You are mean! You are vile!
You do not have the grace or the style!”...
We were hit by this chorus,
while observing George Soros
who had shorted the market meanwhile...
Real motives,
however seemingly apparent,
are still hidden.
Alfred Mercier
He is one of those wise philanthropists
who in a time of famine would vote for nothing
but a supply of toothpicks.
Douglas Jerrold
in Bon-mots of Charles Lamb
and Douglas Jerrold

by Walter Jerrold (1893)

November 23, 2008
We believe life begins at conception.
but “what if” we could make a correction?
Chávez? Putin? Obama?
Each of them had a mama...
For Obama, we'd make an exception.
Why don't some people
just shoot themselves
in the head the day they are born?
Martin Cruz Smith
Polar Star (1989)
Demon: What an excellent day for an exorcism.
The Exorcist (1973)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 22, 2008
There once was a man named Obama.
And of course, he had papa and mama.
But his papa was gone,
leaving mama alone...
Now, we have to pay for this drama.
“God is dead” is simply
an undisguised Oedipal wish-fulfillment.
Paul C. Vitz
Faith of the Fatherless:
The Psychology of Atheism
Oedipus: Ye sicken all, well wot I, yet my pain,
How great soever yours, outtops it all.
Oedipus Rex (c.429 B.C.)

November 21, 2008
Here's how the common sense died.
Single women have powered the ride.
No, McCain couldn't win,
not against this machine:
Jesus Christ would've lost if he tried...
You speak the truth unlike the right...
You can barack me tonight.
Obama Girl
I Got a Crush On Obama (2007)
Samantha: If we could perpetually do b#@$&%bs
to every guy on earth, we would own the world.
And at the same time have our hands free.
Sex and the City (1998)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 20, 2008
There once was a man named Barack.
When he posed for his photos, he'd chack
(an archaic expression
used for horse's obsession
with the bridle which kept him on track...).
Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny
directs the motions of its puppets.
W. Somerset Maugham
...the other, danced the dance
of a marionette
with a few too many masters
and tangled string
dancing to someone else's tune
knowing at some level the fate
he would bear for the choice
to dance...
Raymond A. Foss
Dance of the Marionette (2006)

World Toilet Day · November 19, 2008
Bamioso is looking quite dapper,
'cause today is The Day of the Crapper.
But the point not to miss
is the essence of this
P.O.S. in a showy wrapper.
I may not know much,
but I know chicken s#@t from chicken salad.
Lyndon B. Johnson
in The Best and the Brightest
by David Halberstam (1969)
Hood an ass in reverend purple,
So you can hide his too ambitious ears,
And he shall pass for a cathedral doctor.
Ben Jonson
Volpone (1606)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 18, 2008
All Obamian zombies! Your cheers
have been heard, but it now appears
that you still have no clue
what will happen to you,
when you start screaming into those Ears.
The ear of the leader must ring
with the voices of the people.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Leaders of Men (1889)
I said it very loud and clear:
I went and shouted in his ear.
But he was very stiff and proud:
He said, “You needn't shout so loud!”
Lewis Carroll
Through the Looking Glass (1872)

November 17, 2008
There once was a guy named Barack.
He had Ears in need of a tuck.
But with budget constraints,
there were loud complaints
that it cannot be done for the schmuck...
His ears made him look like
a taxicab with both doors open.
Howard Hughes
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear
to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he
has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
A. A. Milne
Winnie-the-Pooh (1926)

November 16, 2008
There once was a man named Barack,
whose career was nothing but luck.
He was chosen to lead.
Someone paid for the deed.
Now everyone says: “What the f#@k ?...”
In certain trying circumstances,
urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
in Mark Twain: A Biography
by Albert Bigelow Paine (1912)
The Stranger: There's just one thing, Dude.
The Dude: And what's that?
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the f#@k you talking about?
The Stranger: Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
The Big Lebowski (1998)

November 15, 2008
He's the one who came out of hiding
with the flock he was tending and guiding.
They have left their porch
and have wrestled the torch
from those guys who were busy deciding...
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people
who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
Hannah Arendt
The Life of the Mind (1978)
Some will say, in the years to come, a halo
or force stood around him. There was no such thing.
Les Murray
An Absolutely Ordinary Rainbow (1969)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 14, 2008
Our president thinks he is black.
He is white just as much, but his track
was cleared up by his choice
to unite girls and boys
who, beyond this, did not know jack...
If you young fellows were wise,
the devil couldn't do anything to you,
but since you aren't wise,
you need us who are old.
Martin Luther
Table Talk (1967)
No greater injury can be done to any youth
than to let him feel that because he belongs
to this or that race he will be advanced in life
regardless of his own merits or efforts.
Booker T. Washington
The Booker T. Washington Papers (1982)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 13, 2008
There is now a man named Barack.
He'll teach you to cover and duck.
Corps of Civil Defense
will be beating some sense
into citizens pushing their luck...
His motto is:“Give before it hurts.”
Calvin and Hobbes (1990)
Standing armies [are] inconsistent
with [a people's] freedom and subversive
of their quiet.
Thomas Jefferson to Lord North (1775)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 12, 2008
Those of us who have voted and lost
aren't ready to give up the ghost.
This is what we believe:
for as long as we live,
we shall fight, disregarding the cost.
There are times when silence is golden —
other times when it is just plain yellow.
Edwin Louis Cole
The question isn't who is going to let me,
it is who is going to stop me.
Ayn Rand
The Fountainhead (1943)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com
This is Real America
image: newsmax.com

November 11, 2008
There once was a man named Barack.
He was dark, but not really black.
This particular shade
was most likely to fade
when it rubbed off the green of the buck...
Life is a corrupting process from the time
a child learns to play his mother off against his father
in the politics of when to go to bed;
he who fears corruption fears life.
Saul Alinsky
Rules For Radicals (1971)
Corruption never has been compulsory.
Robinson Jeffers
Shine, Perishing Republic (1941)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 10, 2008
News today range from blabber to porn,
and remotes are all beaten and worn.
We are terribly tired.
IF you are a Messiah,
makes no difference where you're born.

But this IF is so-o-o big... Let's see
either miracles or a BC.
Walk on water, or show
f#@$ing papers. We'll know
whether we talk to “you” — or to “Thee”...
Sooner or later, we must all sit down
to a banquet of consequences.
Robert Louis Stevenson (c.1885)
Bank Manager: I will need two pieces of identification.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah yes.
I have my temporary driver's license — and —
my astronaut application form...
I didn't pass that though,
I failed everything but the date of birth.
The Jerk (1979)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 9, 2008
“This is it. This must be the nirvana!”
“It's a gift. Just a gift. Gift from Santa...”
“Rigged or not — it's legit!
I have won! I am it!...”
“This is Sunday! Go have a banana...”
His venture sounds like a banana peel
awaiting its victim.
Charlotte Curtis
Two Roads to Dodge City (1985)
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land
will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House
will be adorned by a downright moron.
H. L. Mencken
Bayard vs. Lionheart (1920)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 8, 2008
Can you find a good rhyme for “Obama”?
If “Obama” is rhymed with a “bummer”,
it implies nothing more
than we stated before:
our choices are getting much dumber...
The United States has got some of
the dumbest people in the world.
I want you to know that we know that.
Ted Turner (1996)
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics,
is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
Republic (c.380 B.C.)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 7, 2008
Nineteen Seventeen Chaos, detailed:
when the intelligentsia failed
to stand up to the Red,
it was quietly led
to be killed or, at least, to be jailed.

Enter Chaos Two Thousand Nine.
Very similar evil design.
Only difference is,
we are ready for this,
and we won't surrender in line.
Courage is not simply one of the virtues,
but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
The Screwtape Letters (1942)
Whatever crushes individuality is despotism,
by whatever name it may be called.
John Stuart Mill
On Liberty (1859)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 6, 2008
Hey, Obama! You can't conceal
such a thing, but we can't appeal...
Votes were tallied — wow!
You have won. Tell us now:
how many of them did you steal?
Cousin Zeb: Isn't that a game of chance?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: No, my dear, not the way I play it.
My Little Chickadee (1940)
Voters want a fraud they can believe in.
Will Durst
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com

November 5, 2008
Hey, Michelle! What's the deal with the dress?
Did you flaunt all the things you profess?
You were bearing big marks
in the colors of Marx
in a spiderly pattern, no less...
She looks like something
that would eat its young.
Dorothy Parker
She was a large woman who seemed
not so much dressed as upholstered.
J. M. Barrie
Half Hours (1914)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com
Halloween, anyone?
photo: boston.com
“The female black widow is easily recognized by her shiny black body and red hourglass marking underneath her round abdomen”
MedLinePlus, a service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health
photo: nlm.nih.gov

November 4, 2008
Our country went totally nuts.
Masses picked one electable putz,
whose election was bought
with the money he brought
from abroad, where they hate our guts...
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
Winston Churchill
Scottish Unionist Conference (1948)
For where envying and strife is,
there is confusion and every evil work.
James 3:16 (KJV)
Copyright © 2008 obamafu.com
Venezuela: Chavez is ready for Bamster — he has been waiting for a long time...
photo: daylife.com
Kuwait: Still not sure if their money was well-spent...
photo: daylife.com
Iran: Boy, aren't they happy! He is almost family!...
photo: daylife.com
Palestine? No — this is United States Consulate. Ever heard of the “fifth column”?
photo: daylife.com
Gaza: Che Guevara is there, Bamster's mug is coming... so to speak...
photo: daylife.com
Germany: Just look at your own charts, you Dummköpfe!
photo: daylife.com

home all blog about store acks contact donations