OBAMAFU.COMBecause enough is enough.
Obamadays Passed: Pelosidays Passed: 730
Left: Left: None
NOW IN PRINT:
Barack Obama is a Big-Eared Idiot
and other undeniable life's truths
Volume 1: The Failure's Log
December 31, 2008
We're worried. The coming O-Bum
wants a chaos. In it, will be some
Foreseeing his goals,
how Big will this Brother become?
If a man is not rising upward to be an angel,
depend upon it, he is sinking downwards to be a devil.
He cannot stop at the beast.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
in Coleridge's Table Talk and Omniana (1917)
December 30, 2008
If they saw how Bamster is awed,
and they knew the extent of this fraud,
Lenin would've gone wild,
Karl Marx would've smiled
(Friedrich Engels would simply applaud).
Socialism is a fraud, a comedy,
a phantom, a blackmail.
I'm anxious to find out
where insanity ends and evil begins.
Shadows and Fog (1991)
December 29, 2008
Emblem, new, for U.S. Delegation
to U.N.: first, a map of the nation,
done in Black and in Green,
then some Red in between,
and two Ears in flying formation.
Artists can color the sky red
because they know it's blue.
Those of us who aren't artists
must color things the way they really are
or people might think we're stupid.
Crawling Arnold (1963)
Such things make no impression upon me;
I simply wag my great, long, furry ears.
E. C. Bentley
December 28, 2008
Those that curse us, expected a blessing,
and they found it rather depressing
that we were quite adverse
to the meaning of verse
Luke (in 6:28) is addressing.
Bless those who curse you,
and pray for those who spitefully use you.
Luke 6:28 (KJV)
Souls made of Fire, and Children of the Sun,
With whom Revenge is virtue.
The Revenge (1721)
December 27, 2008
A design for the President's Seal:
first, a t#@d, dry, to mark the New Deal,
then a fresh one, for Bum
(tinted green for Islam),
and a slippery yellow peel.
A t#@d for you!
You do not deserve so much good,
nor so much honour.
Gargantua and Pantagruel (c.1532)
Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit.
[Latin, “Perhaps the remembrance of these things
will prove a source of future pleasure.”]
The Aeneid (29 – 19 B.C.)
December 26, 2008
For Obamo-Americans there:
your Messiah will be off the air
from eleven to five.
Don't panic — survive.
Hold his picture and tell him you care.
Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic be
alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Memories, Dreams, Reflections (1963)
Each time you play helpless you create
a dependency — you play a dependency game.
In other words, we make ourselves slaves.
Especially if this dependency is
a dependency of our self-esteem.
Gestalt Therapy Verbatim (1972)
Christmas Day · December 25, 2008
This is Christmas. No politics. None.
We could rhyme a few words just for fun,
just to have a good time
with a difficult rhyme,
just to see how this could be done.
We could start with the word “Titicaca”.
It would rhyme with “Molucca” and “Yucca”.
But we'd fail to complete
this remarkable feat...
'cause the word we'd need is “macaca”.
(and we remember what happened to Mr. Allen...)
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
just like the ones I used to know...
White Christmas (1940)
December 24, 2008
Winds of “change” whistling hard in our ear,
all we hear, “Obama is near”.
No Kwanzaa for us,
just old customs, and thus,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Every evening I turn my worries over to God.
He's going to be up all night anyway.
Mary C. Crowley
December 23, 2008
Flying up to the uppermost cloud,
Lord Obama is spoken about:
“He's Movin' On Up!”
We'll wait for his flop,
looking forward to his Movin' Out.
Well, we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.
The Jeffersons (1975)
When I hear a man applauded by the mob,
I always feel a pang of pity for him.
All he has to do to be hissed
is to live long enough.
H. L. Mencken
Minority Report (1956)
December 22, 2008
Urgent message, from Hell to The Chair:
“All your comrades think this is unfair.
We were told Hell will freeze
when U.S. on its knees
will be yours to dismantle and tear.
It is hot. We all think “going cold”
is a promise that's getting too old.
Get your a#@ down here,
on the double, you hear?
We are voting to have you recalled!”
The first duty of a revolutionary
is to get away with it.
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton, and me.
They wrote about hell and never saw the place.
I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over
for years and years.
Winter Solstice · Stalin' birthday · December 21, 2008
Sharing time with his comrade — his spouse —
he recalls all the communist vows
that he took as a boy,
and he plans to enjoy
Stalin's Birthday in Barry's White House.
Those who cast the votes decide nothing.
Those who count the votes decide everything.
Dieter: America is now part
of the history of Communism.
December 20, 2008
Fortune tellers! This time of the year,
when the solstice is getting so near,
could you please tell us all
if the night which will fall
is as long and as dark as we fear?
How long the night seems
to one kept awake by pain.
Blanche et Guiscard (1763)
December 19, 2008
Blah, blah, blah. That's Obamian call
to proceed. He is trying to stall
'cause he has no clue
what to do, when it's due,
and he has no solutions, at all.
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board
who knows how to fly a plane?
December 18, 2008
Bummer tries (and he cries as he tries)
to create “All-American” lies.
He is aided and helped
by the brood that he whelped,
but this brood stocks imported supplies.
A man who thinks of himself as belonging
to a particular national group in America
has not yet become an American, and the man
who goes among you to trade upon your nationality
is no worthy son to live under the Stars and Stripes.
Woodrow T. Wilson (1915)
Falsehood is invariably the child of fear
in one form or another.
The Confessions of Aleister Crowley (1929)
December 17, 2008
There once was one Barry, a boy,
who grew up to annoy and destroy.
Early on, it appears,
someone said: “Flap your ears!
That'll do. You do not need a toy.”
This was part of a communist ploy.
Barry wanted few things to enjoy.
Someone said: “Beat the rich.
That's the ultimate niche
for all those who do not have the toy.”
Barry learned many ways to deploy
one's resolve to acquire the toy:
fear, fraud and deceit,
mixed together, or neat —
and grew up to annoy and destroy.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw
that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may
be firmly planted in the human head
if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five,
by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.
Parerga und Paralipomena (1851)
December 16, 2008
Two big Ears. Electoral dice.
Overpaid (confidential) price.
How would we name this
quick ascent from abyss?
“Bum's Earlift” would be very precise.
If one person tell thee that thou hast ass's ears,
take no notice; should two tell thee so,
procure a saddle for thyself.
Ancient Jewish Proverbs
by Abraham Cohen (1911)
You know if you pick 'em up by their ears
it doesn't hurt 'em as much.
Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
December 15, 2008
Bum has seen flying shoes in the news.
You can send us all kinds of big shoes.
We'll give them away
to the children, OK?
Not to wear — to practice the use.
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
Stray Birds (1916)
December 14, 2008
If you listen to Larry Sinclair,
you'd know: his Bummer's affair
was a Limo-Lewinsky.
What would say Saul Alinsky?
“Rule 11. And do it with flair.”
If you push a negative hard and deep enough,
it will break through into its counterside.
Rules For Radicals (1971)
A politically correct way to say you f#@k anything.
Overheard on the Net
December 13, 2008
Oh, rebellious Pinkos! Your hue
seems to make you an object to screw...
No, you aren't the Red,
though, the Red made your bed...
Pity rebels without a clue.
So much of left-wing thought is a kind of
playing with fire by people
who don't even know that fire is hot.
Inside the Whale (1940)
...and some of these college professors
are just about as bad, the whole kit and bilin' of 'em
are nothing in God's world but socialism in disguise!
Main Street (1920)
December 12, 2008
How much will Obama be paid
(with all deals he has managed and made)?
We would think all his pay
should be taken away —
it is plainly exceeding his grade.
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
Laurence J. Peter
“...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.”
“What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.”
“Employers sense in me a denial of their values.”
John Kennedy Toole
Confederacy of Dunces (1980)
December 11, 2008
Windy City provided the wind.
Spreading Ears, Bum flew. Being pinned,
these appendages would
keep him back in the hood
to continue to worship The Fiend.
“Hail, holy Ass!” the quiring angels sing;
“Priest of Unreason, and of Discords King!
Great co-Creator, let Thy glory shine:
God made all else, the Mule, the Mule is thine!”
G.J. (Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.)
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
...characterized by an uncommon spread of ear,
which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight...
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
December 10, 2008
We've got a corrupt politician
on his way to his ultimate mission:
to dismantle defenses
for all future offenses
of his gang — under any condition.
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation,
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'Rourke
Parliament of Whores (1991)
December 9, 2008
Our country's electoral trance
has been caused by the Bummer's romance,
and when Bummer will fail,
all his b#@ches will wail:
“He was simply not given a chance!”
He that is good for making excuses
is seldom good for anything else.
Communism to me is one-third practice
and two-thirds explanation.
December 8, 2008
You just wait. All the wealth of this nation
will be nationalized by taxation.
To accomplish this deed,
Bum will deftly proceed
using Putin as his inspiration.
Socialist governments traditionally do make a financial mess.
They always run out of other people's money.
Margaret Thatcher (1976)
We hope that, when the insects take over the world,
they will remember with gratitude
how we took them along on all our picnics.
December 7, 2008
Seeking ways for Obama to sink,
we keep seeing the link, Red and Pink.
So, we are on the brink
of a horrible stink.
Just the place for a Boojum, we think.
But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day,
If your Snark be a Boojum! For then
You will softly and suddenly vanish away,
And never be met with again!
The Hunting of the Snark (1874)
If a convert to Communism could be persuaded
that he was a citizen of the world, it of course
would be much easier to make him
a traitor to his own country.
Joseph R. McCarthy (1954)
December 6, 2008
“Honeymoon: Love Forever”. “Divorce”
isn't part of this mindset, of course.
“Being f#@$ed by Barack”
isn't yet a bad luck —
it's too early for “buyer's remorse”.
Having been f#@$ed is no excuse
for being f#@$ed up.
My Heroes (2004)
“Luck” is taking probability personally.
Chip Denman (1998)
December 5, 2008
This is what the O-Bummer's Right Ear
told the left one: “Recession, I hear?”
And the Left Ear said
(to the Right, through the head):
“You are deaf — The Depression, my dear!”
The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment,
was produced by government mismanagement rather than
by any inherent instability of the private economy.
Capitalism and Freedom (1962)
Cutting off mule's ears doesn't make it a horse.
in Gombo Zhebes
by Lafcadio Hearn (1885)
December 4, 2008
No, Obama is not from Nantucket.
His is short and no way he could suck it.
But we heard that the mob
got a cheap b#@$&%b —
and it did put some change in his pocket.
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless
to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless
it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover
December 3, 2008
There once was a blast in BHOpal.
Retributions helped their morale.
But with our blast,
came the ghoul with the past:
BHO, Ayers' pupil and pal.
I don't regret setting bombs.
I feel we didn't do enough.
New York Times, September 11, 2001
Boy, what a world...
it could be so wonderful,
if it wasn't for certain people.
Radio Days (1987)
December 2, 2008
Saul Alinsky is, properly, dead.
Hell is frozen. The Devil has fled.
The community drive
now wants to revive
plans to get Pearly Gates painted Red.
Socialism will only work in heaven
where they don't want it, or in hell,
where they've got it already.
The British Socialist Ill-Fare State (1952)
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting
if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around
the pearly gates convinced that succubi own
all the liquor stores in heaven.
P. J. O'Rourke
Parliament of Whores (1991)
December 1, 2008
If you haven't drunk any Kool-Aid,
future won't arrive ready-made
when Obamian crap
will start coming, on tap,
stinky, sticky, and over-pre-paid...
Tomorrow's illiterate will not be the man
who cannot read; he will be the man
who has not learned how to learn.
in Future Shock
by Alvin Toffler (1970)
You can't talk of the dangers of snake poisoning
and not mention snakes.
C. Everett Koop
November 30, 2008
At the end of this blasted November
full of things that you have to remember
for the next time you vote,
please remember to note
that ACORN is the beast to dismember.
The first step in community organization
is community disorganization.
Rules For Radicals (1971)
A general loathing of a gang or sect
usually has some sound basis in instinct.
Ezra Pound (1936)
November 29, 2008
Contemplating both virtue and vice,
think of this (it will fully suffice):
would you mark your connection
to the recent election
by a toast, or a goat sacrifice???
Where but in Kenya can a man
whose grandfather was a cannibal
watch a really good game of polo?
November 28, 2008
Sing, Fat Lady! C'mon, you Big Mama!
Someone has to wrap up all this drama
of the Fraud from Abroad!
No, we wouldn't applaud —
we're tired of Mr. Obama.
You can't bluff someone
who's not paying attention.
House of Games (1987)
Boredom is rage spread thin.
Thanksgiving Day · November 27, 2008
On Thanksgiving, with bad expectations,
we shall pray for all people of nations
with no freedom for all.
They'll suffer the call
to submit to the Marxist temptations.
Underlying most arguments against the free market
is a lack of belief in freedom itself.
Capitalism and Freedom (1962)
When it becomes dominated by a collectivist creed,
democracy will inevitably destroy itself.
The Road To Serfdom (1944)
November 26, 2008
Enter Holiday Season with Hope —
not the one that was claimed by The Dope
who has peddled the Change
you'd get in exchange
for the knot at the end of your rope.
When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
November 25, 2008
In Somali, they got it all wrong.
They can have what they want — for a song:
just export to U.S.
one of yours to profess
what you like. He'll drag you along.
Mulder: I see the correlation, but just because
I work for the federal government
doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches.
The X Files: War of the Coprophages (1996)
These days even the devil is getting overturned
and held up to the light like a glass of water.
November 24, 2008
We've heard: “You are mean! You are vile!
You do not have the grace or the style!”...
We were hit by this chorus,
while observing George Soros
who had shorted the market meanwhile...
however seemingly apparent,
are still hidden.
He is one of those wise philanthropists
who in a time of famine would vote for nothing
but a supply of toothpicks.
in Bon-mots of Charles Lamb
and Douglas Jerrold
by Walter Jerrold (1893)
November 23, 2008
We believe life begins at conception.
but “what if” we could make a correction?
Chávez? Putin? Obama?
Each of them had a mama...
For Obama, we'd make an exception.
Why don't some people
just shoot themselves
in the head the day they are born?
Martin Cruz Smith
Polar Star (1989)
Demon: What an excellent day for an exorcism.
The Exorcist (1973)
November 22, 2008
There once was a man named Obama.
And of course, he had papa and mama.
But his papa was gone,
leaving mama alone...
Now, we have to pay for this drama.
“God is dead” is simply
an undisguised Oedipal wish-fulfillment.
Paul C. Vitz
Faith of the Fatherless:
The Psychology of Atheism (1999)
Oedipus: Ye sicken all, well wot I, yet my pain,
How great soever yours, outtops it all.
Oedipus Rex (c.429 B.C.)
November 21, 2008
Here's how the common sense died.
Single women have powered the ride.
No, McCain couldn't win,
not against this machine:
Jesus Christ would've lost if he tried...
You speak the truth unlike the right...
You can barack me tonight.
I Got a Crush On Obama (2007)
Samantha: If we could perpetually do b#@$&%bs
to every guy on earth, we would own the world.
And at the same time have our hands free.
Sex and the City (1998)
November 20, 2008
There once was a man named Barack.
When he posed for his photos, he'd chack
(an archaic expression
used for horse's obsession
with the bridle which kept him on track...).
Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny
directs the motions of its puppets.
W. Somerset Maugham
...the other, danced the dance
of a marionette
with a few too many masters
and tangled string
dancing to someone else's tune
knowing at some level the fate
he would bear for the choice
Raymond A. Foss
Dance of the Marionette (2006)
World Toilet Day · November 19, 2008
Bamioso is looking quite dapper,
'cause today is The Day of the Crapper.
But the point not to miss
is the essence of this
P.O.S. in a showy wrapper.
I may not know much,
but I know chicken s#@t from chicken salad.
Lyndon B. Johnson
in The Best and the Brightest
by David Halberstam (1969)
Hood an ass in reverend purple,
So you can hide his too ambitious ears,
And he shall pass for a cathedral doctor.
November 18, 2008
All Obamian zombies! Your cheers
have been heard, but it now appears
that you still have no clue
what will happen to you,
when you start screaming into those Ears.
The ear of the leader must ring
with the voices of the people.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Leaders of Men (1889)
I said it very loud and clear:
I went and shouted in his ear.
But he was very stiff and proud:
He said, “You needn't shout so loud!”
Through the Looking Glass (1872)
November 17, 2008
There once was a guy named Barack.
He had Ears in need of a tuck.
But with budget constraints,
there were loud complaints
that it cannot be done for the schmuck...
His ears made him look like
a taxicab with both doors open.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear
to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he
has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
A. A. Milne
November 16, 2008
There once was a man named Barack,
whose career was nothing but luck.
He was chosen to lead.
Someone paid for the deed.
Now everyone says: “What the f#@k ?...”
In certain trying circumstances,
urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
in Mark Twain: A Biography
by Albert Bigelow Paine (1912)
The Stranger: There's just one thing, Dude.
The Dude: And what's that?
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the f#@k you talking about?
The Stranger: Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
November 15, 2008
He's the one who came out of hiding
with the flock he was tending and guiding.
They have left their porch
and have wrestled the torch
from those guys who were busy deciding...
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people
who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
The Life of the Mind (1978)
Some will say, in the years to come, a halo
or force stood around him. There was no such thing.
An Absolutely Ordinary Rainbow (1969)
November 14, 2008
Our president thinks he is black.
He is white just as much, but his track
was cleared up by his choice
to unite girls and boys
who, beyond this, did not know jack...
If you young fellows were wise,
the devil couldn't do anything to you,
but since you aren't wise,
you need us who are old.
Table Talk (1967)
No greater injury can be done to any youth
than to let him feel that because he belongs
to this or that race he will be advanced in life
regardless of his own merits or efforts.
Booker T. Washington
The Booker T. Washington Papers (1982)
November 13, 2008
There is now a man named Barack.
He'll teach you to cover and duck.
Corps of Civil Defense
will be beating some sense
into citizens pushing their luck...
His motto is:“Give before it hurts.”
Calvin and Hobbes (1990)
Standing armies [are] inconsistent
with [a people's] freedom and subversive
of their quiet.
Thomas Jefferson to Lord North (1775)
November 12, 2008
Those of us who have voted and lost
aren't ready to give up the ghost.
This is what we believe:
for as long as we live,
we shall fight, disregarding the cost.
There are times when silence is golden —
other times when it is just plain yellow.
Edwin Louis Cole
The question isn't who is going to let me,
it is who is going to stop me.
The Fountainhead (1943)
November 11, 2008
There once was a man named Barack.
He was dark, but not really black.
This particular shade
was most likely to fade
when it rubbed off the green of the buck...
Life is a corrupting process from the time
a child learns to play his mother off against his father
in the politics of when to go to bed;
he who fears corruption fears life.
Rules For Radicals (1971)
November 10, 2008
News today range from blabber to porn,
and remotes are all beaten and worn.
We are terribly tired.
IF you are a Messiah,
makes no difference where you're born.
But this IF is so-o-o big... Let's see
either miracles or a BC.
Walk on water, or show
f#@$ing papers. We'll know
whether we talk to “you” — or to “Thee”...
Sooner or later, we must all sit down
to a banquet of consequences.
Robert Louis Stevenson (c.1885)
Bank Manager: I will need two pieces of identification.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah yes.
I have my temporary driver's license — and —
my astronaut application form...
I didn't pass that though,
I failed everything but the date of birth.
The Jerk (1979)
November 9, 2008
“This is it. This must be the nirvana!”
“It's a gift. Just a gift. Gift from Santa...”
“Rigged or not — it's legit!
I have won! I am it!...”
“This is Sunday! Go have a banana...”
His venture sounds like a banana peel
awaiting its victim.
Two Roads to Dodge City (1985)
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land
will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House
will be adorned by a downright moron.
H. L. Mencken
Bayard vs. Lionheart (1920)
November 8, 2008
Can you find a good rhyme for “Obama”?
If “Obama” is rhymed with a “bummer”,
it implies nothing more
than we stated before:
our choices are getting much dumber...
The United States has got some of
the dumbest people in the world.
I want you to know that we know that.
Ted Turner (1996)
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics,
is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
Republic (c.380 B.C.)
November 7, 2008
Nineteen Seventeen Chaos, detailed:
when the intelligentsia failed
to stand up to the Red,
it was quietly led
to be killed or, at least, to be jailed.
Enter Chaos Two Thousand Nine.
Very similar evil design.
Only difference is,
we are ready for this,
and we won't surrender in line.
Courage is not simply one of the virtues,
but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
The Screwtape Letters (1942)
Whatever crushes individuality is despotism,
by whatever name it may be called.
John Stuart Mill
On Liberty (1859)
November 6, 2008
Hey, Obama! You can't conceal
such a thing, but we can't appeal...
Votes were tallied — wow!
You have won. Tell us now:
how many of them did you steal?
Cousin Zeb: Isn't that a game of chance?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: No, my dear, not the way I play it.
My Little Chickadee (1940)
Voters want a fraud they can believe in.
November 5, 2008
Hey, Michelle! What's the deal with the dress?
Did you flaunt all the things you profess?
You were bearing big marks
in the colors of Marx
in a spiderly pattern, no less...
She looks like something
that would eat its young.
November 4, 2008
Our country went totally nuts.
Masses picked one electable putz,
whose election was bought
with the money he brought
from abroad, where they hate our guts...
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
Scottish Unionist Conference (1948)
For where envying and strife is,
there is confusion and every evil work.
James 3:16 (KJV)
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